I stopped writing late last year 2010,
My brain was foggy, and then it cleared again!
I was getting worried; cos I hadn't lost my flow,
I just didn't want to write, just wanted my pain to go!
And when I type, the pain hits hard,
So I simply stopped...and I dropped my guard!
Lost myself in reading, TV and stuff,
But I had no outlet when I was in the rough!
My writing's my lifeline; it's always been so,
I couldn't afore to stop, and let it go.
To tonight I opened a document at last,
Started typing, and still going fast!
I'm rushing this one so I can go to bed,
Ease my pain with my tablets and rest my head!
I'll not sleep much, I never do,
Can't remember last when I slept through?
Well I do, but that's not real sleep,
That's for when the anaesthetics creep!
Then after whatever operation I'd had,
I'd be back to normal, my pain real bad.
Cos if I'm asleep, I don't know about pain,
It's only when it wakes me up that I feel it again!
So now I'm off, dreading going to bed,
Cos it takes me hours to nod off, it has to be said.
Then when I do, you can count on me,
To wake every hour, that's how it is you see.
This choking thing doesn't help at all,
It cuts off my airways and I can't call!
I can't even shout for my Rich to help me!
I have to stay as I am, till my airways are free!
But that's another story that maybe I'll tell,
But it's not a nice one; it's as scary as hell!
But that will be fixed, sooner than later it seems,
Or else I'll end up dead, and no, not in my dreams!
And on that note, I'm going to bed right now,
I'm up early for church, so for now I'll say; ‘chow'!
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