ramblings and things

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Coming out

- Beginning

It was so many years ago but now that I am older
Or maybe don't care so much or I'm getting bolder,
He seduced me so easily. I told myself it was the drink
But in all honestly it was all the excitement I think.
As I lay there in his bed squirming with delight
As he kissed and pleasured me most of that night
And me being selfish and not much more than a boy
Took all his caresses but didn't share my joy.
I just didn't touch him until in frustrated rage
He threw me on the street in outrage
And there I was alone in a strange town
Cold and tired and wandering around
Until by chance to shelter from the rain
I found the station and the correct trains
For all; those years after I had hidden my joy
At my guilty secret bout of love as a boy

- Steps

He has loved love me with consideration and care
Had shown and taught me brought me pleasure there
Now I with faltering fingers tried to remember all I'd learned
Tried to return the favours, give him the love he'd earned
He smiled and moaned with pleasure at the touch of my hand
As I strove to show affection for my lover, another man
From a clumsy silly person he had shown me the way
Helped me to accept in my confusion and accept being gay
From a life of confusion when I felt I had to try
At last I was realising all the passed years were a lie

out - Decisions

All these years after I have hidden my joy
My guilty secret homosexual love as a boy
And at this later stage find myself on fire
Wanting that love again yet hiding my desire
And after all these years from when the fears began
I want to share the pleasure of caresses from a man
These needs keep surfacing until in know in the end
I will celebrate me sexuality with a cherished friend
And if the world in general doesn't take it well
Then the world in general can off and go to hell

For a friened who lived all of this.


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Coming out