once upon a time

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Talking to Billy the other day.
He's a friend of mine,
Telling me about going down the dole with a pal of his.
Now this pal of his has a hooligan of a dog.

Anyway, his mate had an acceptance letter from the dole
Informing him he had got a grant
But the rascal  mutt ripped the letter up.

Naturally Billy's  mate got drunk.
Then went into the dole with the letter in one hand,
The rascal of a mutt under the other arm.

Now you can imagine the consternation that ensued.
Hooligan of a dog barking and squirming,
Billy's friend with his drunken, incoherent ramblings.

Got thrown out the three, didn't they?
The tattered letter, Billy's mate
And the  hooligan of a dog.

Then like a bolt from the blue,
The mate got a brilliant idea.
The post office will stick it together again.
The letter that is.

So, the ladies in the post office took pity on the rascal.
Didn't think a lot of Billy's mate
But stuck the letter together again.

Once again off they went back to the dole.
With Billy in tow, they presented the letter.

Billy's mate got his grant.
The rascal of a dog got a boot in the hole.
And Billy walked away a wee bit the wiser.

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