My grandmother she was Irish Irish
From those before the saxons true~
And she was all of four foot tall
And spoke as the Irish Irish do~
She was the sweetest little lady
And had her own Irish personality~
I loved to listen to her talk
It all sounded good ta me~
But she had an Irish way with her
And it was hers alone~
She d sometimes have us all in fits
When we visited her little home~
Her laundary roof was just six foot high
With guttering that was once painted red~
I tot tum paint me lad me lad
Ta me she one day said~
So I went out n painted it
In the reddest paint around~
And when she came in lady on
The neighbourhood they heard her sound~
She had daffodills growen there as well
And excited as she could be
Ive got red spotted verigated daffolills
They are , Oh come n see~
Then one day she had distant relations call
So early in the morn~
So she made them some breakfast
Tho it was just after dawn~
They were goen on to see the city
And then driven further on their trip~
And grandma gave em sardine sandwiches
And a pot a tea ta sip~
After they had gone away
She went then out the back~
And next to the empty sardine can
Was grandma s now dead cat~
She made sure they were all notified
To go see a doctor right away~
As she thought the sardines to be poisoned
And they got tummy aches then on the day~
That night her neighbour she came in
And said oh lord Im sorry~
My hubby he was off ta work
And ran over ya cat in his lorry~
I put it on da back steps
Couldnt tell ya so ~
And she was then ever so relieved
And she let the whole town know~
My dad came out the back one day
And said ya grandma just baked a cake~
And when she calls ya in ya eat it right
Im tellen you me mate~
Who wouldnt want grandmas cake
I said then with a smile~
Well you just bloody eat it ok
Dont upset her shes getten older by the while~
I went in and made me tea
And cut a slice so big~
But when I bloody ate it
My stomack did a jig~
She had everythen up on the little shelf
In bottles in a row~
She meant to put in lemon essence
But used murlex dry cleaning fluid dont cha know~
Yes she was the smallest irish irish woman
And darn good looken in her day~
But my little irish irish grandma
She sure as ireland had with her a way ~