Before we met, I was alright, I was really okay. I could still see the bright side and could giggle in the simplest joke. I was sort of friendly and approachable even if my trust was limited. I was just exhausted because Leah and Alexis took advantage of my affection, time and generosity so I decided not to have a romantic relationship anymore. At that moment, you were in emotional agony being deceived by two men who said they were available yet are married to their respective partner, the other one who never loved you.
Yes, Jade...it was my choice to be always there for you the very second you told me to phone and chat with you. I felt you were different from the bunch of damsels I came across with. I thought you were trustworthy, honest, sincere, compassionate, not a manipulator, that you were heavenly sent, an angel without wings.
Ere I laid my eyes on you, I was a jolly person, a strong parent to Ali Raza, a creative writer, a firm believer, a courageous fellow, a poet with an imaginative mind, a sweet dude but hey, look at me now, Jade...For the very first time in my life I became too weak, a crybaby, restless, uninspired, no motivation at all and in need of my doctor as well as my sleeping pills to be able to forget the pain and miseries you caused me. Most of all, I lost my faith to the Fountain Head who I worshipped for many years, who I glorified by singing psalms of praises as I stood in the choir loft. I denied myself of real gratification in order to obey the sublime Creator even if it meant loneliness and much longing for someone I adore.
I did my very best to comprehend you in the course of our relationship. Since the time you got confused 10.5 months ago to your monthly PMS and mood swings you experience, to your crave to play Zynga games than go on chatting with me via YM then to the fact that you wanted to have your life back but the main reason is because you are too dastard, so coward to introduce me as your boyfriend for almost a year, that you can`t take what others would say and think about you if they knew about me. If I were a man, first time your phone rings you would certainly answer me. If I had that "note," you would be very proud to tell your family and comrades about us. What a great pretender!
It hurts me the most that when you finally became a hundred per cent okay or pain-free at last then you put into oblivion the things that I did to be able for you to get on, to move on and be happy at my expense.
Christmas 2010, your homesickness back home, your birthday, the New Year, your rift with Weng and Venus, the reminder of your previous heartaches, your boring life in the place you are right now, your illness, backache, and many more...I was there all the time, Jade even if I was dizzy, drowsy, busy, hungry, blogging and so on...
On August 19, 2011, my son Ali Raza and I decided to buy groceries but I have no idea that he was sick. He just said he`s sleepy. Then after we ate at Tim Horton`s, he told me to go home immediately. We took the Eglinton bus, he put his head on my right chest and suddenly vomited. I was surprised, became nervous so when we reached home I asked you if you could go online. I got to talk to you so I could feel better. I begged you. Yes, Jade, I needed you the most at that instant but you opted to watch your favorite shows for more than two hours, you chose to give yourself the luxury of life leaving me anxious and in panic as I continue to attend to my boy.
Instead of forgetting your pride and understand me that day, you asked for a time-out, a cool off. You insulted and humiliated my being. You made my heart bleed to death killing me slowly. Now tell me, were you fair, were you not lopsided, were you reasonable, were you logical, were you in empathy of me, were you considerate, were you a girlfriend that time or just a selfish woman?