Musings by The Poet Loriet
Surrogate Lover
I wake laced in sweat,
anxious because I don't
recognize these walls.
I wonder what stranger's
bed I inhabit tonight.
He numbs the pain,
but he's not you.
I don't love him.
He's a hand I can hold
when the night
swallows me.
He takes care of me
without asking for
anything complicated.
If he said, "I love you",
I would choke out
my mechanical answer.
I am weak
for needing him
and wanting you.
You still have my heart,
but the silences
you leave me with
as you live your other life
are deafeningly loud.
Please forgive me, baby.
It's always been your face
that I've been searching for.
It's always been you
that I need as I
scream at the moon.
Lori Beal
anxious because I don't
recognize these walls.
I wonder what stranger's
bed I inhabit tonight.
He numbs the pain,
but he's not you.
I don't love him.
He's a hand I can hold
when the night
swallows me.
He takes care of me
without asking for
anything complicated.
If he said, "I love you",
I would choke out
my mechanical answer.
I am weak
for needing him
and wanting you.
You still have my heart,
but the silences
you leave me with
as you live your other life
are deafeningly loud.
Please forgive me, baby.
It's always been your face
that I've been searching for.
It's always been you
that I need as I
scream at the moon.
Lori Beal
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