once upon a time

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Flip flopping up and down the hallway
What the heck are you talking about?
Awk, for God sake she’s at it again,
Cleaning and moaning about the socks
and the shirts lying on the floor.

No harm in them lying around,
Sure I know where they are to be found.
After that cleaning lady comes around
Not a blooming thing can be found.

I look for my nails in my teaspoon drawer.
None of them are there. She’s put spoons in there.
Now why would you not have screws in the teaspoon drawer.?
This cleaning and tidiness has me confused.
Awk sure, maybe  I'll just sack the cleaning lady
Be myself again.

O God no she’s found a couple of spoons,
I wondered where they had gone. Well what
Do you reckon she’s gone and done, put the
Spoons back in the drawer, and the poor auld screws
nowhere to be found. I've just been told, by the
cleaning lady she went, and threw out a bent screw.
God help me what can I do,
have to be part of this normality.

When you consider the cleaning lady
is Essie, from Casteblaney, County Monaghan
it all seems to be soo easily explained.
Down south of the border,sure, they are all crazy.
That's why we let them live down there.
Well out of the way of us normal folk.





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ESSIE THECLEANING LADY