once upon a time

I have this cooker.
Well, I guess everyone has a cooker.
Maybe, though it’s not quite the same, as my wee cooker,
My wee cooker usually never says a word.
Just sits there and doesn't do anything, 'bit like me'.

The other night I had guests.
God help the wee cooker. What do you think?
I had to switch him on.
Poor wee thing didn't have to do a thing this past year.
Just sat there and kept me company.
Now I’m sure you can imagine the awful strain.
My wee cooker having to cook food!

The indignity of it all. Ach, the poor wee thing.
You had to feel sorry for him.
After the guests had fled to their respective homes
I couldn't believe it.
The poor wee thing was whimpering.
I took pity on him. Well, you would, wouldn't you?
Started gently stroking him clean.

He slowly stopped crying. 'Tut, tut' I said giving him a hug.
There, there, don’t cry.
Ach, God love him. I couldn't fault him.
Didn't he have all that cooking to do?
He’s all right now.
But he told me not to ask him to cook for at least another year.

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