I don't know who won the war, but I'm not conceding.
There's no mirror nearby so tell me, am I bleeding?
I tried every caustic remark from all my book learning,
But she outdoes me every time. My ears are burning...
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Never tell a female she is oh so slightly overweight.
At least not if you don't intend to stay up really late.
Wow! The words that female knows! She's outspoken!
I didn't break an arm or leg, but my ego is broken...
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Poor thing! It isn't that she wobbles when she walks.
She just spews forth female venom when she talks.
Okay, perhaps I ought to be the one to apologize.
Maybe I'd be a bigger man (pardon the pun) in her eyes...
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Wives seem especially sensitive about their weight.
But it isn't me that can't get through the garden gate!
If she would only lose a teeny tiny pound or two,
Or maybe twenty or thirty, I believe she would fit through...
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