My mother
Is still alive
In body
On the Coast
By the sea
In the land
Of leisure…
In our Lord's
Year of 2011.
When last
I saw my mother
She was truly
Happy…
Enjoyed being
In Florida…
With warmth
With my brother
And his wife
And my father
A changed,
A reformed man…
I thought
I was coming home
To more of
The same…
Two years gone
Was too long…
In that time
My mother's body
Seemed to have
Aged 20 years…
Deaf in one ear,
Partially so in
The other…
The screen too
Hard to see well
She flinched
When I hugged her
Favoring her arm
She broke
Seven years ago
It was like hugging
Air…
And I remembered
The same feel
To my grandmother
When she was
In the nursing home
All those years
Long past.
It wasn't just
Her body
Something else
Was missing
That I didn't
Understand
Until I had left…
Her laugh.
Her fight.
The true spirit
That was my mother
Was ravaged by
Time and
The reformed man
Who was
A new monster.
Our conversations
Are gone
Without her saying
How wrong she
Is and mentally
Withdrawing from
The world…
She now hides
In safety
Behind deaf ears
From my father's
Recriminations
And corrections…
In the guise
Of loving
Instruction.
Our sacred
Link now nothing
But echoes
And ghosts…
I remember when
Her mother passed
And asked me
When she would see
Me again
And knew the answer
Was
At her funeral.
In the same vein
Of knowingness
I know that
The constant droning
Of the new monster
Has broken fully
What used to be
My mother…
And she can no
Longer see me
Nor hear me
Through the broken
Glass of
Her spirit.
The next time
I will ever be able
To connect with
My mother
As we once did
Will be after
She has passed
From this world…
And becomes
My new angel.
