I had to ruin everyone's Valentines Day
And blow the cobwebs of romance away
For I have a secret about Romeo and Juliet
I'm afraid to say, that it was all a bet
Juliet was that reclusive geeky girl
Glasses, spots and a pony tail
The one that sits on her own, on the bus or train
The classic example of ‘plain Jane'
The Pretty girls best friend
Who will use her, to her own end
Kids can be cruel teenagers worse
Adults? Well ,we're just perverse
The rumour goes it was over lunch break
That some lads made this stake
"The one who gets a kiss from Juliet…"
"Wins ..mmmm, a £50 bet!"
"£50!" came the cries
And soon after came the lies…
Now Romeo to be fair, was unsure
But being one of lads, he didn't want to be a bore
Also to be fair he saw something in Juliet
But was it love or lust or just regret?
There were 5 guys involved in this pact
John, Mike, Tom, Romeo and Pat
John tried to seduce her in Geography class
Smacking an Atlas against her @r$e
That went down like a lead balloon
As Juliet shoved him across the classroom
Mike tried it with chocolates and flowers
And he talked to her for hours and hours
This seemed to be working at the beginning
Until he started to try the kissing
"I'm not like that, I need time to know you"
Said Juliet, "but we can date if you like, I do like you
Mike saw £50 in his mind and weeks of dating too
And decided it end it there and said "Nah, we're through!"
Tom asked her out to the cinema
Failing when he tried to fumble her in his car
Pat went for the direct approach, went for the kill
" High Juliet, so if we did it would you take the pill?"
She just looked at him in disgust
And soon in all boys she failed to trust
Then one day in a cold ,wet winters day
Where everything and everyone looks dull and grey
Juliet was waiting for a bus, and waited and waited..
I guess in some ways it was fated?
That Romeo walked past the bus stop
He was on the way to the local shop
He saw Juliet wet and cold and shivering
At the bus stop, waiting and waiting
"Hey Juliet, you know the Bus's aren't running today?"
"they're all on strike, same old story, demanding more pay"
Romeo was actually a decent fella
And he offered her, his umbrella
He gave her his mobile phone
"you're going to be late, so if you wanna phone home?"
She smiled "Thank you, that's very nice"
Romeo said "I'll walk you to your place"
As they walked under the overcast skies
Romeo forgot about the bet with the guys
They chatted and got to know each other
About life, school, her dad and her brother
Romeo loved the way she smiled when she talked
They continued to chat and walk
Romeo saw past her glasses and spotty skin
As he found himself smiling and smiling
When they got to her house, she turned and kissed him
"Thank you Romeo, thank you for everything"
That weekend he was having a pint with the guys
He was in a quandary, tell the truth or tell lies
The topic of conversation was about Juliet
How all the guys had tried and failed at the bet
Calling her names, cursing her, calling her a tart
Something awoke in Romeo, something within his heart
"She's not a tart, she's really nice actually"
"And yes if you must know, she kissed me"
The lads all cheered, the sound of glass against glass
As pints smashed against pints, "Romeo you sly @r$e"
The boys all paid up and gave him £50, as was the deal
"So Romeo did you get a feel, are they real?"
All the curses and jokes came out and Romeo felt bad
But not as bad as the guy on the next table, Juliet's dad!
Saturday night went slow, Sunday Slower
When it was Monday, he dreaded meeting her
He had all the excuses in his head
So many sorry's going to be said
‘I actually really like you, it wasn't like that, Juliet'
‘I really like you, I never thought about the bet!'
He waited outside the school gate, in the pouring rain
He waited and waited, but she never came
Rumour spread around school of a girl found dead
Suicide, got her fathers gun and blew off her head
Chinese whispered spread like wild fire
"she killed herself, her boyfriend was a liar!"
Guilt ridden, Romeo felt his shame
He never meant this to become a game
On the way back home, Romeo felt foul
Riddled with guilt he threw himself into the canal
He was found the next day by a girl,
With Glasses, spots and a pony tail…….
