Oh what a predicament as we sped through the night,
A whole train stretched behind us without a single light,
And through the thin walls we could plainly hear
The threats being shouted from both front and rear.
The long blonde squaddie, whose name I can't recall
Nervously panicked because he'd caused it all.
An urgent call of nature on a compartmented train
Solved by opening a window to pass water in the rain;
But he removed a fitted bulb, modesty being his plan
And fused the whole lot behind with a very loud bang
Leading to this very tense and worrying situation
As the train drew ever nearer to Victoria Station.
One hell of a fizzer for damaging a train,
Maybe another for peeing in the rain,
The trouble only worsening after release
From the railway to the military police.
And maybe, on top, some demotion
For having caused such commotion.
When it arrived thank the lord much confusion arose
As we hit the platform running and away on our toes
As from behind we heard a voice very loudly say
That's where they went as he pointed the wrong way;
So we mingled with the crowd having slowed to a walk
And joining in freely with all the discontented talk.
The gods must have smiled on us to allow us to go
To celebrate in Trafalgar Square and later on in Soho.
We all joined hands there in the crowded square
To sing Auld Lang Syne with those gathered there.
A night to remember, New Years Eve 1964
All much too old now for such excitement any more.