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Awake!


So here I am once again, awake!
And nope, I didn't sleep at all!
Too much on my mind to shut down,
Even though I gave it my all!
Instead I lay here awake!
Jealous of my hubby sound asleep,
Regular breaths, and gently so...
I watched him till daylight did creep!

My head is just a mess you know!
Too many things, oh my poor brain!
Swimming around, making no sense,
I feel like I'm going totally insane!!
Pain in my heart, so much pain-
I'm barely holding it together at all!
Don't know what I'll be facing soon?
When I walk down that hall?

...Cos I'll see her door and go sick!
Of that there is no doubt,
Terrified to go in that room!
I want to scream and shout!
But that won't do any good!
So I'm trying my very best...
To stay my tears, hide my fears,
And tell myself it's another test.

But this is a real hard test!
Because my mum's little body is weak,
And trust me, I've had plenty of tests,
And solace I always seek!
But no solace for me just now,
And I'm forever chatting with God,
He's always there, even though busy,
Cos He's a very demanding bod!!

I ask for His intervention...
And tell Him of my plight!
I have Him up the wall; in fact...
I've gabbed to Him all through the night!
But still my head is scrambled!
Nothing makes sense at all-
So I think I better go now,
And give God another call!

Sunday 20th May 2012

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