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It's Surprising...


It's surprising what a Vicar's visit can do,
He cheered me up and prayed with me too!
I told him my two sad tales of woe,
How I wasn't coping and my sadness won't go!
I've always been tough, right through life,
But now I'm struggling with heartache and strife.
I'm losing my mum, and its breaking my heart,
As I watch her dying, and know she'll depart.

It's a conundrum for me; I'm confused and sad,
I don't want her to die, but in a way I'll be glad.
Glad only because she's suffering so much here,
Weighs less than 4 stone, her mind's not clear.
She wanders into the past, an age ago in time,
Speaks with mine and her dad! So no, she's not fine.
She's so confused, and she can hardly hear,
She can't see any more, well, not very clear!

She doesn't know who we are most of the time,
Its breaking my heart, nope, I'm not feeling fine.
I want her to stay, don't want her to go,
But she needs peace, she's suffering so...
But I look at this frail little mum of mine,
Her eyes are dull, they've lost their shine.
She thinks we are nurses, so mixed up,
Oh woe is me and my overflowing cup!

She's my mum, and we only have one,
And I dread the day that she is gone.
But the day is close now, she's so ill,
Her body's had enough, she's frail and still.
She hasn't the strength to move at all,
When she needs help, you'll hear her call!
‘Can someone help me!' mum shouts to the staff,
Forgetting I'm there, I say; ‘mum, it's Cath!'

We get the nurse, mum forgets why...
Cofuffled and confused, it makes me cry...
She told me she loves me a few weeks ago,
She's never said it before, so I think she'll know!
...Knows that it's almost the end of her life;
No more pain and no more strife.
Last week she was scared, this week she's not,
I think she's so worn out; and she's forgot!

So I cling on to God with all my strength!
After all He is with me and has been at length!
I'll never let go, cos He keeps me sane,
He lifts me high when I am in pain!
He is the only one always at my side,
And there is nothing at all from him I hide!
He knows my weaknesses and my strengths,
And for me and salvation, I'd go to any lengths!

Mums forgoten where she is, and what's going on!

I need her to be at peace, so I pray for Him to let her sleep...

Meanwhile I hold onto God as I always do!


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