Darkness peers back at me as I stare up at the ceiling
The sounds of crickets and beetles play tonight's melody
But still I am not soothed
The air is cool, still and peaceful
But my mind does not cease
I can hear you in my minds closet
Creaking and hissing at all these mistakes
I've bled for lately
The sadness in your anger beckons me
-To call out for you
To hear you reason a retreat
Fight!Fight!
That's all I want to do
FIGHT for you
FIGHT for this
FIGHT to be allowed to feel this heart break
But you come often, like in waves
Each wave crashing against my walls
Soon your salty tears will wear away anything
I try to build up my shore lines
I try to hover behind my
I'm sorry's
But still a rumble is inside of me
Waiting to scream for help
Scream for You
But I can't
Not anymore.
You wouldn't hear me anyway
So I scramble to show strength
I scramble to show self worth
And before I know it,
those waves become hurricanes
Knocking me over with grief
and longing
My lungs are vacant of air
My heart still of beats
I feel a cold calm take over my body
As I prepare to be washed away
left to the endless sea
My eyes are heavy, so heavy
The rain clouds pulling me to sleep
I fight, but my muscles relax
And then I wake
With a slow startle I feel
heat against my lips
It feels like a fort night has passed, yet
The sun is kissing me with its warmth
I feel it all around me
No more crickets or beetles
Just soft whispers of the sea
I prepare myself for a let down
Expecting a mirage before my eyes
I crack my eyes open,
and smells of salt water hits my nose
Sunshine peers in, My heart races with
excitement-
Is it hope?
Hope that shines down on me?
Smiling, I blink,
Open my eyes up fully
And...
Nothing...
I'm back here,
Staring at this emotionless ceiling
Listening to the vast sounds of the night
The air is still cool,
But I feel a rise in it now, as
the sun perches the horizon
A stir that builds up in me
Makes me feel faint at the excitement
But the adrenaline fades as
I slink slowly back into remembrance
As to why there is no sun,
No waves, or salt kissed air
My mind finally begins to rest-
To give up this fight,...
