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We REALLY Don't Talk About It, Do We?  I Am!


Ok, first an explanation, and at the risk of embarrassment to myself, here goes.

For almost 2 years I have had a problem, you know the kind? Of the bowel;
The thing people don't like to see the Dr about? The thing people won't talk about, to anyone because of shame.
That problem!

You see the adverts now.

‘If you see blood in your poo for more than a few weeks...Blood, mucus, pain, not a good combination! Get to your Dr.!!!'
Well guess what people? I didn't go the Dr. I left it!!!

I had the signs...for 2 years, yeah, stupid aren't I?!

But it was the pain that got me in the end. It would come on me in an instant. Crease me up like nothing else.
I would roll backwards and forwards in agony.
I couldn't cope with the pain, and the adverts would come on... And it made me think, maybe I should go? Then the pain stopped. I wouldn't bother, cos once the pain went; I was ok, wasn't I?

I got the pains about once every 10-14 days...last for hours. The diarrhea came with them; I would sit for an hour minimum...Usually 5...in agony, crying out with the pain! Horrendous, horrendous pain!

Then the pains started coming more and more often! And the poo, the word people don't like to use!
My bowels were a legend in their own entirety...

I got the pain, the pain brought the poo...the poo brought the diarrhea, that brought the mucus, that was covered in blood...vicious circlr.  That brought even more pain; Griping, gripes, cramps like nothing on earth...Too excruciating to even describe!

Then one day, on August the 4th 2012 at 2am...the pain came... 11 weeks and 4 days later, the pain is still coming at me daily.  It's constant! Horrendous if I eat. So I don't eat food...I live on yoghurts and very little else. I'm getting thinner, and thinner...and sicker and sicker...

Why am I telling you all this? If it even gets read?
Because maybe, just maybe one person reads this and thinks...and maybe if one person reads this and goes the Dr... Then it will be worth the embarrassment of writing it.

So I went the Dr's with this pain. From there I was fast tracked to the hospital. 2 weeks later I was seen. Told me I needed to be admitted... Right then!
I was in hospital for week and a half...I was up the wall.  In agony, on morphine and everything else to help the pain! I had scans, x-rays, colonoscopy's, that's cameras up the bottom. A nightmare!
I had 4 admissions to hospital in total; more cameras than you would dare to imagine...

I had 3 blockages...nice and painful...I still have one left. Stubborn thing! I was told the day I was admitted I had the 3 blockages. 2 colonoscopy's later I was told I have a bowel disease called; Diverticulitis. ‘Pockets', like hernias; from the inside of the bowel protruding outside of the bowel! Full of all kinds of stuff that is inside the bowel... pockets that are blocked totally.
I jest you not...this isn't living. This is slowly killing me. Literally! You can't live on yoghurts.  I am getting weaker the longer time goes on. The weaker I get, the more the mortality risk rises.
It is now February 2nd.  6 months later.

Last week I saw the surgeon...

And I find out that apart from it being severely diseased, wonderful, a large part of it isn't even working!!!
So, like I say, things are in place...

So my life is a tad on the railways tracks just now.  It's not going one way or another.
Things are in place to prevent surgery...
But... If it doesn't work, then surgery it has to be!

I'd rather pass the nightmare stage I'm starting in a few weeks, and just have the op!!

And here is the poem...after a massive explanation!

---------------------------------------

So I had a little chat to God, told Him of my plight,
Ask him if He'd help me get rid of all my fright!

I told Him my situation, all about this disease,
And if He'd raise me up, cos I was on my knees!

Metaphorically I mean, cos I was sitting in my chair,
But spirituality wise I meant, cos my bowel problem wasn't fair!

He gave a nod in my direction, and whispered in my ear,
'Catherine kid, don't worry, cos I am always here!'

So I came home feeling lighter, not because of my weight!
But cos I know He's with me, yep, my God is really great!!

So I'll no longer worry, cos things will be just fine!
I've much faith in, yep, the removal of this bowel of mine!

Boom, boom!!

Now then, if you've read all of this, then you know the score...

Have you got a problem of the rear area?
Then you know what to do, don't you?!

Go to your Dr, don't be in ignorance of it!  

PLEASE, DON'T BE ASHAMED TO GO TO YOUR DR.
JUST DO IT.
DON'T END UP LIKE ME IN A NIGHTMARE!

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