I never knew I could feel love and hate so purely as one
Having you here one moment and gone the next
Assaults my reason and my already shaken sanity
Together we were an undeniable force
Each emotion felt in extremes
Many times I was at a loss for words, in my eyes
none were good enough to be heard
Yesterday's laughter brought on today's flood of tears
Self-inflicted wounds, so much easier they heal
Expecting the worst out of this life
Leaves disappointment in the past
knowing that true happiness
never seems to last
As the days pass in a blur, one bad moment after another
I can't help but think back to the memories
and get lost in their wonder
Escaping to a different time, leaving reality for a bit
overanalyze each and every moment
wondering where exactly it is I fit
Always on the outside looking in, not your mainstream kind of girl
caught somewhere in the middle purgatory bound
where love and hate combine and wholeness can't be found
So tired of saying nothing but goodbye
Suffering in silence for so long now
my tears have dried up, now I can't even cry
To tell you that I miss you
would grossly underestimate how I feel
my life is its emptiest, now that you're not here
You gave me purpose, a reason to smile
thought I could accomplish anything
you alone made every single moment worthwhile
Now that it's all gone, I sit alone with my thoughts
you promised to love me forever
but it was you that caused our bond to sever
I'm no longer the same person you knew
I don't even know who I am anymore
Praying every night things could go back to before
Before I opened up to you, left myself unguarded
how could you ever tell me I was perfect
when you just left me broken and discarded