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Approaching Normal , Then Veering Right

Being normal
isn't right for everyone.
I wonder who really is?
Normal, that is.
Or, for that matter,
right for everyone.
I don't even want to be even
a stone's throw
from normal.

I think most of us
are just good at pretending
at what we think normal is...
we're all making it up as we go along
to get along.
All according to what we think
others want to hear
or see. Memorizing the notes and the
key to the right song.
Even though we're out of tune.

So what's honest about
trying to act normal?
Honestly, I don't believe
there is such a thing.
Normal has such a hollow ring.
Its a carrot at the end
of a big whack stick
we strive for.
But shouldn't.

The interesting people are the
"Couldn'ts." Those who don't fit in.
Odd-jobs, the wild and weirdly eccentric,
the ones with peccadilloes by the score,
the penultimate nut jobs
in the jargon of every day dullness.
They're those who color outside the lines
because that's their familiar stomping ground.
They are the experts.
They know the territory
of not being considered sound.
And they're alright with it.
They're so used to taking care of

Straying from the vicinity of normal
for nearly all of my life, I
at first, felt cheated.
Like I bore some curse of
maladaptive personality dis-function.
I wasn't going to stall at their
conjunction and wear
a red tattoo on my forehead
that identified me differently  
from everyone else.
Changing my attitude, I adopted
like a petulant orphan, making it
my symbol of pride and honor.
Lack of normalcy made me stronger.

Once at a 12 step meeting I heard
someone read aloud,
"We only guess at what normal is."
I found myself wishing he'd get his...
that is, his bitter taste trying
out normalcy.
Conflicted, I was, at first.
Then, I thought, who cares?
And dodging, the burst of flame
of false ambition that might have
engulfed me, I flew from the
meeting, phoenix-like. Shaking off
the ashes of another's definitions.
Avoiding a snare that wouldn't catch me.
No more triviality.
Ta-ta, good-bye normal.

Let the unhappy and foolish pass their time
racking their brains defining where
they lost their lines.
I'll pass my time being me.
Outside of normality.
Call me...
by a name if it gets you by.
I've given up the rat race of
trying to try
to fit in.
I like the skin I live in.
And being not normal.

Copyright May 21, 2013 All Rights Reserved By This Author
Melissa A Howells   Meloo Tilt-a-World

Reworked this today and added some teeth to it. May 22, 2013

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