Amongst the things that bother me the lottery
They put people in jail for stealing but run a lottery
But then that is part of being stupid
We stopped at an Indian Casino to wait out a storm
Yeah--I was playing and had a winner but it didn't pay
Asked the drunk next to me why and she said,
"You have to play maximum to win on these machines."
The obvious question is why you would play?
The drinks are only a dollar on weekdays before payday dah?
I went to the local donated thrift store to find
bargains record albums with miminum scratches
A total of $6.47 and was digging in my pocket for change
Clerk said, "Do you want to round it out to $7.00
and give the rest to charity?" I said, "Do you want
to round it out to $6.00,remove the stupid sign from my forehead!"
She said, "Don't you want to help someone who is poor?"
I gave the drunk out front a buck and told him to buy coffee
I said, "I have checked out the salaries of your CEO's
Much richer than me and they do not buy their clothing donated."
Things that bother me, how can a woman shave her underarms and legs,
and then be petrofied to go in the garden near garden snakes?
Petticoat Dictator weeds with a bulldozer but I have it cured
I tell her I saw a garden snake in the neighbors yard.
And speaking of the Petticoat Dictator How can she be afraid of snakes
and not the least afraid me, we were at the store eye mating
Actually she was telling me my next chore of the day when,
At the checkout line the lady said are you two together?
My long time love said, "For the time being, married 52 years."
I said, "She followed me home from the swap meet."
She said, "I am the best thing to happened to you" and
continued, "The first year was great then reality!"
I know she loves me because she lets me do the dishes
And she added, "It went downhill from there!"
again she added, "I thought he had money." and I said,
"See marriage,all comes down to money. She has never forgiven me
that I lost my job shortly after we married and we have to live in
her parents basement with the five kids and the Grandchildren."
Checker was a Democrat and thought of all the money we were making.
That's what you get Sunday swapmeet when they say everything is half off."
I am quite sure the clerk well never ever go to the swap meet or get married
Other downright stupid things listed under Democrats and liberals,
Gay and lesbian marriage, and the search for cure for aids
Recently they posted on the side of buses photos of the ten most wanted Muslim terriorist
It might be a good idea--these dudes have stated they want to destroy America.
Despite the fact that two of the posted Muslims were Caucasions wearing beards
One of our Democratic liberal Legislators said this was racial profiling
This would upset some of our more recent immigrants especial those seeking maps
From under my desk I feel a rumbling on this near flag day
Could it possibly one of our forefathers rolling over in his grave?
Someone has to remove the stupid sign from our leader's heads
But then they are still trying to find the cure for aids and what is causing it
I haven't even gotten to the downright stupid things that bother me.
Like the neighbor driving up the road texting with poopsie in her lap
While I get a $102 ticket because the police officer saw me putting on
my seatbelt as I was entering the roadway and the engine already turned on.
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