ramblings and things

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SatNav Blues

She's a slim little baggage
Suspended from my windscreen
Very sexy voice
Oft heard, never seen.
Now turn left
She sternly utters
Good job she can't hear
My responsive mutters.
It's like a cliff side
I'm swearing in my throat,
This is a car
Not a mountain goat.
Took second gear
And we climbed at a crawl
Did she appreciate it??
Not at all, not at all.
Turn left now then
Immediately turn right,
Another chuffing great hill
Comes quickly into sight.
I chicken out and
Go straight on.
Just for a second
Her voice is gone.
Then turn the car around
Just as soon as you can
Her tone implying
You very stupid man.
I don't and she
Has to recalculate
And I keep on driving
As i patiently wait
For what seems like
A minute or two.
She gets her revenge
By diverting me through
A twisting turning
Narrow switchback
That surely is no more
Than a winding cart track.
There's a motorway sign!
Now I can make it without hitch
So i switch off my SatNav
And silence the bitch.
She's a slim little package
Very useful at times she's been.
So I leave her powered off,
 Suspended from my windscreen.


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SatNav Blues