Confessions of a Recovering Chantix Victim (The Breakdown)
In the fall of 2009 I went on vacation with my now ex-husband Gary Hines and his family. The Chantix I was taking caused a psychotic episode. Parts I remember, parts I do not. I do know I needed medical help and until I fell to far he and his family did not get me to a doctor or hospital. As a result my health was compromised. Instead of finally taking me to a hospital I was taken home. I do not remember calling the ambulance but I did. I also wanted to divorce my husband when I woke up in the Emergency Room. You know men always lie to save their own skin. He told the lie to me and I believed him. It took me another 3 years to realize my mistake and to have enough of he and his family's abuse.
Murmuring voices uttered from faceless people
shadows passing as I drift aimlessly.
Pinpoint light burning past my corneas into my brain
too tired and my limbs are frozen.
No strength to push the annoying distractions away.
My lips move, trying to scream, "Leave me alone!"
No sound reaches my ears or the nameless ones.
Almost there now past the dark circle
another home chants my name promising rest.
There is pressure in my arm and that blasted light
sucking me, pulling me back down.
I vaguely remember being somewhere and the fear.
Someone waits just ahead in the mist.
Someone familiar I wanted so much to see.
Just as quickly the vision retreats
and darkness shatters the light.
Those nameless ones come into focus.
A hand brushes the corners of my eyes.
"You'll be fine," she whispers in my ear.
I know I won't be fine, not ever again.