This type of silence is deadly I don't know even think you know,
That's why I hide it and never let it show.
So much goes on that you cannot even imagine,
Squeeze your eyes and think really hard with all your bent up passion.
To let anybody in and see all that there is,
Life is never simple just another high school quiz.
Pass or fail is the next determination,
I am ready to turn to the next damn station.
I am so over the stuff that is going on,
You couldn't pay me to stay up and see the dawn.
My silence is the next killer,
I swear… I promise you there won't be another winner.
In this blight that I have that eats me up inside,
I wish someone would take the time to understand and simply provide,
This rage that burns continuously and looking to divide,
Me in half…yup split me in two,
Lord knows I am running out of options of what exactly to do.
Prayer works on a number of levels,
Straightens me up…yea I am so disheveled.
What I am feeling is deafening to the masses,
In the end I swear even you will need to take a psychiatric class.
To learn what I am going through,
A never ending battle that screws me,
A heartfelt and mindful devotee,
For love and all the pain I wish to be free,
Sometimes I want to hit the escape key.
I'll leave you utterly blinded by my visual expression,
Have you learned the ultimate lesson?
Not a pre-conceived notion,
Something that just happens at moments notice…a sudden uproar of commotion.
You're an automatic buyer,
No subscription was ever required.
You brought what I provided…no false pretenses or even a hint of cause,
I just confided and decided to give you something that merely coincided,
What caused my silence is that someone hit pause.
My silence never needed your permission to exist,
What you can do is go to hell you are severely dismissed.
Twist my arm and sever it off completely if you must,
I am not telling you anything until you restore the broken trust.
I gave you the opportunity to prove me wrong,
The thoughts had are all not gone.
Hope is what is keeping things alive,
Until you decide how much you want this to survive.
My silence has become the reaper,
And I am now the door keeper.
