ramblings and things
A professor of difficult sums
Leading a simple and useful life
Till he met Big Bertha from Walsall
And took her to be his wife.
It was a difficult sums convention
On the logistics of long haul
And the whole lot had been invited
To a dinner down at Civic hall.
The cabaret was all in wresting
Big Bertha the starring bout
And they met purely by fate
When her opponent threw her out
To land squarely on our hero,
Crushing him consciouslessness to the floor
And he reviving in her arms
Fell in love with what he saw,
A striking figure of a woman
In her purple and puce leotard
The emotion was also mutual
As she fell for him equally hard.
Now he's the second in her corner
And she's champion of north west
And he works at difficult sums
Two hours a week at best.
Their story's been made into a musical
With planned epic for the big screen
With Big Bertha and her professor
Idolized wherever they're seen.
They've had sarnies at the palace
Cos the queen is a wrestling fan
Fascinated by the story of how
Big Bertha fell for her man
It's a story of the wrestling code
Of that there's little doubt
Of three falls, two submissions
Or instead a single knockout.
Now they live a life of pleasure
Taking everything as it comes
And for a little relaxation
He's teaching her difficult sums.
Between rounds she sits in her corner
A look of ecstasy on her face
Contemplating quadratic equations
On the nature of time and space.