I'm no Mother,
but I've been described
I have birthing hips,
but no child has ever sprung
I wonder where this characterization comes from.
They say if you answer you hate your Mother on the
MMPI the entire test becomes invalidated.
I wonder what fool ever drew up
Certainly no one who had my Mother.
I loved her and I hated her equally at times.
It wasn't her, my therapist said, but her behavior.
You make the distinction after this poem,
I would say to that therapist.
And why in the hell am I in therapy anyway?
I would not have been there if it were not
for my Mother.
Someone has said at one time or another
to many women:
"You're not a woman until
you've experienced childbirth."
My Mother would've had a differing opinion
on that. Me??
Yes, I would have a differing opinion, as well.
I've birthed other things,
in that way,
my way, a Mothering way.
a Madonna and
My Mother was a woman, but a Madonna,
that is stretching it. Maybe, I am stretching
things too, for poetry's sake.
Madonnas cherish the earth,
the sky and water.
I have loved all of these things
myself. I learned the earth appreciation
stuff from my Mother.
But I've also learned
and a forgetting mind
a skill I mothered within
(and must continually relearn to practice)
very slowly with other teachers,
I wonder if my own Mother simply pretended
at this skill?
I am Motherless, now.
suffered as all motherless children do...
who must learn
the skill of
I believe for my whole life that
I am a human rocking chair.
I am certain
my Mother never rocked me, though my Father did once
in a hospital ward when I was almost five.
I remember my Mother,
flawed as she was.
for her lessons.
Ones of love,
of color, creativity, music,
of small things and nature.
And of the one
that is hardest of all...
that you are lost if you do not learn to
My Mother was always lost.
She was a desperate kitten crying in the rain
hoping to be let in.
Even so, tonight,
I'm hopeful that
she will whisper
gently into my right ear
as I dream.
May this be,
May she feel more like a Mother,
more loved than she ever understood
in her entire abbreviated life.
I will hug her
with the whole of my heart.
Copyright May 11, 2014 All Rights Reserved By This Author
All Poetry/Stories/Prose is the legal property of this Author
Meloo/Melissa A Howells site: Tilt-a-World
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