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Noah's Dilemma
Since Noah was seemingly righteous
And not a stick in the mud,
God decided to save him
And his family from the great flood.
Again going over the instructions
After having built his ark,
Noah had a few questions
Before they could embark.
"It says here that I need two
Of every living thing.
But I have some misgivings:
That's going to be hard to swing.
"What's this about a pl...platypus,
And penguin and k...kangaroo?
And I need to find two skunks.
What am I going to do?
"If I don't find these animals,
They'll think my work is a sham.
Ah, I know what I'll do:
I'll delegate this job to Ham.
"But first there's another question
That's going to be hard to solve.
And that is the problem of food
And what it is going to involve.
"‘All food eaten on Earth'
Has to be on our boat.
With all that food and the animals,
How will we stay afloat?
"There's another problem:
My lions aren't nice and sweet,
And they have a very strong preference
For gazelle and antelope meat.
"Cramped in so tight a space,
I hope we all don't smother.
How am I going to keep
One animal from eating the other?"
He gave his list to Ham
And said, "I've found you some work.
I've got too much on my mind,
And it's driving me berserk."
Then Ham elicited help
From brothers Japheth and Shem.
There was no one else available
To help him aside from them.
Over one million species
Of animals they had to find!
They'd be in a big heap of trouble
If they left any behind.
Noah's curse on Ham
Didn't come till much later.
In the meantime Ham had a few
Questions for his pater.
"Now, about all this floodwater--
And I don't disrespect your wishes--
Will it be salty or fresh?
It makes a difference to fishes.
"And for forty days and nights
We'll be floating around;
When the waters recede,
Won't all the plants have drowned?"
Noah said, "Don't even go there!
There's no time to stall.
Let's all get a move on;
Raindrops are starting to fall."
(7-24-14)
And not a stick in the mud,
God decided to save him
And his family from the great flood.
Again going over the instructions
After having built his ark,
Noah had a few questions
Before they could embark.
"It says here that I need two
Of every living thing.
But I have some misgivings:
That's going to be hard to swing.
"What's this about a pl...platypus,
And penguin and k...kangaroo?
And I need to find two skunks.
What am I going to do?
"If I don't find these animals,
They'll think my work is a sham.
Ah, I know what I'll do:
I'll delegate this job to Ham.
"But first there's another question
That's going to be hard to solve.
And that is the problem of food
And what it is going to involve.
"‘All food eaten on Earth'
Has to be on our boat.
With all that food and the animals,
How will we stay afloat?
"There's another problem:
My lions aren't nice and sweet,
And they have a very strong preference
For gazelle and antelope meat.
"Cramped in so tight a space,
I hope we all don't smother.
How am I going to keep
One animal from eating the other?"
He gave his list to Ham
And said, "I've found you some work.
I've got too much on my mind,
And it's driving me berserk."
Then Ham elicited help
From brothers Japheth and Shem.
There was no one else available
To help him aside from them.
Over one million species
Of animals they had to find!
They'd be in a big heap of trouble
If they left any behind.
Noah's curse on Ham
Didn't come till much later.
In the meantime Ham had a few
Questions for his pater.
"Now, about all this floodwater--
And I don't disrespect your wishes--
Will it be salty or fresh?
It makes a difference to fishes.
"And for forty days and nights
We'll be floating around;
When the waters recede,
Won't all the plants have drowned?"
Noah said, "Don't even go there!
There's no time to stall.
Let's all get a move on;
Raindrops are starting to fall."
(7-24-14)
