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Highway Code (Revised)


If I were the Minister of Transport

I’d really get things done

Armoured traffic cars each carrying

One heavy grade machine Gun,

A guided rocket launcher

A stun grenade or two,

Maybe some tear gas,

I reckon that would do.


Blast a few anti social drivers to

Burn by the side of the road,

Make some others start to

Follow the highway code.

We’d not need to kill very many

To make then see the light

And finally to realise to drive

Is a privelege, not a right.


Maybe a compensation fund for

Bereaved families, children, wives,

Though living with such idiots 

Can’t have led to peaceful lives.

Once we’ve got the driving sorted,

Brought civilised behaviour to the road,

Then we add Death For ilegal Parking

To our revised new highway code.


You can lead a horse to water 

But you can’t make him drink

But as the deaths mount up

You can make bad drivers think.

Oh If I were Minister of Transport

I’d really get things done

With armoured traffic cars each

Carrying a heavy grade machine gun.


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Highway Code (Revised)