TEN YEARS LATER
What is depression
Depression is a dark dismal abyss
Where some of us go helplessly
I have no say about going to this home for the Insane
I have a desease that robs my brain
of all the chemicals that my body needs to function
So I take fourteen (14) different prescription drugs
to keep my brain from shutting down.
The medicine shuts down all my strong feelings
I have no emotions, my one wish is to be able to cry
I questioned my phycisan if I could stop the one drug
And she ask me I which I preferred,
My choice's were to set and cry all day
or to have no emotions at all,
And that was hard decision
for me to make. I don't want to do either.
But there are only two choiches.
I never smile, I never laugh I don't talk .
The only way I can comunicate is with my computer
But I have no one to talk to .
My best friends have all broken my heart
My family hate to see me suffer
So they stay away
I understand just how they feel,
stay away from the sick also.
I have just been told that my deasease
Is going to make me have dementia
I knew there was that possibility
But to know for sure scares me to death
If I am lucky I will go to a skilled nursing facitity soon.
Depression is a horrible thing
I only see the bad
There is no good for me in my life
I just want to laugh
I would like to feel happy
I wish all these troubles would just disappear
Depression stole my soul, and my feelings of contentment
Do you want to read about my decline into madness
I am thinking about writing about it
And letting the the readers read about my journey
I have not been writting these last few years
The two massive strokes I had in 2007, made my speech much simpler
I will always tell you the facts and the feelings that come out of my journey.
I like to think about putting my feelings out there
I think it Will lessen my fear to a point where I won't be afraid to live by myself.
If you have an extra Prayer in your pocket think of me.
Karen Jean Keicher
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