John's poems of...LIFE - LIVING &LOVE...JDJ
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i dont want to see her
i dont want to see her, or be near her, or say one single word to her:
she doesnt care about me at all im sure:
all that is important , and all that matters to her is the money that she will get from me:
i feel betrayed by her, cut so deep, belittled, disrespected, and i have to pay her for the rest of my life, i feel imprisoned, punished. dogged and i do not feel free:
all that matters is she gets her money, and the court has awarded to her all:
i dont want to see her, or be near her, or say one word to her, i cant fake it how she makes me feel, so awful and small:
i am trying to rebuild myself up from her devastating blow, she dont care about me after 36 years of marriage you know, so i have to stay away, just pay her the best that i can, i cant let her hurt me again, and cause me to fall
i dont want to even see her again:
i dont trust her, i cant even look her in the eyes, because she is not even my friend, i know she only cares about the money, i cant fake it again, to be near her and just pretend;
for my kids and grand children, i tried during the holidays to be with all of the family, to act normal and smile, and be nice, i did it three times, it hurt me bad, and messed me up, and i know myself i cant do it again:
i cant put myself that low no more and just pretend:
to me , i feel like she did the crime:
now me, i am suffering , paying her and i am imprisoned, doing time:
so now she stands so fancy and free:
after 36-years of marriage with eight children and she cuts me :
i know i have to learn to let it go:
but i dont have the strength to be around her and again fall lower than low:
19 february 2015:
she doesnt care about me at all im sure:
all that is important , and all that matters to her is the money that she will get from me:
i feel betrayed by her, cut so deep, belittled, disrespected, and i have to pay her for the rest of my life, i feel imprisoned, punished. dogged and i do not feel free:
all that matters is she gets her money, and the court has awarded to her all:
i dont want to see her, or be near her, or say one word to her, i cant fake it how she makes me feel, so awful and small:
i am trying to rebuild myself up from her devastating blow, she dont care about me after 36 years of marriage you know, so i have to stay away, just pay her the best that i can, i cant let her hurt me again, and cause me to fall
i dont want to even see her again:
i dont trust her, i cant even look her in the eyes, because she is not even my friend, i know she only cares about the money, i cant fake it again, to be near her and just pretend;
for my kids and grand children, i tried during the holidays to be with all of the family, to act normal and smile, and be nice, i did it three times, it hurt me bad, and messed me up, and i know myself i cant do it again:
i cant put myself that low no more and just pretend:
to me , i feel like she did the crime:
now me, i am suffering , paying her and i am imprisoned, doing time:
so now she stands so fancy and free:
after 36-years of marriage with eight children and she cuts me :
i know i have to learn to let it go:
but i dont have the strength to be around her and again fall lower than low:
19 february 2015:
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i dont want to see her
i dont want to see her