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By Richard Deutsch

I awoke one morning with a minor itch
Accompanied by an annoying twitch
Between the two I got little rest
So I chose SIGMUND FREUD as I wanted to be treated
By the very best
Thirty days on his couch (leather cold as ice)
He finally drew his own conclusions
That I didn’t feel were very nice
“Your Id is damaged your Ego a mess
Your persona is in need of an immediate nurse”
All I know after thirty days
Both itch and twitch each got worse.
SKINNER I thought would straighten me out
I heard in his field he carried much clout
So he put me in his confining crate
Hoping my inhibitions would dissipate
There I was for six long days
Six long days in SKINNER’S Box
Both itch and twitch returned with a vengeance
I felt like a bagel without the lox.
Now MESMER was the man to cure my woes
He’d cure my maladies from my head to my toes
Of course he couldn’t treat me face to face
I’d have to be put in a Morpheus place
But his Sandman tactics fell terribly short
Let me give you a quick report
Since his treatment I can’t be employed
There’s not a single job that I’ve kept
No matter how I try to report on time
I find that I’ve overslept.
WHITE is a man with a different approach
So I thought I’d give him a call
He accepted the challenge with a robust response
And told me to mirror my wall
Well the fasteners didn’t fasten
And the holders didn’t hold
The mirror came down with a crash
The visual aid so vital to my therapy
Ended up in the daily trash
I thought that his treatment would bring a cure
But it was a theory that ran amuck
I’m left with my itch and continuous twitch.
Plus I now have seven years bad luck.
Those doctors have taught me a lesson for sure
A lesson I feel that is great
And so if you want to have good mental health
I urge you to self-medicate
I’ll take just a moment to give some advice
Before my saga ends
The itch and the twitch are both tolerable
If you surround yourself with good friends.

                                           March 31, 2015

Back to conquer all my fears
Is this angel I've known for many long years
Yes, he knew my love and he knew my pain
I never thought I would smile again
But my special angel this is true
The sun shines again because of you.


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