( I swear this is true)

 

The tattooed drunk with expensive shoes,

A desperate look of having nothing to lose,

Barracked me as I stood at the microphone

A near empty pub, glad he was on his own

One lone drunk is easy to quell

More than one can be a hell.

I finished my spot, went for a beer

Turned around  and he was near. 

He surveyed me with pin holed eyes 

Then told me with anguished sighs 

Alhough he looked young he was seventy two 

Nano bots in his veins to make his body renew.

He said this was done to keep him alive

Because he was a spy for MI five.

He said there was danger In all he did

Then he tried to touch me for twenty quid.

I'm not quite sure what he’d been on 

But if it was bottled he'd have made a bomb 

We left him there mumbling away.

Sometime these charaters make your day,

And sometimes, and it  could be worse,

They provide the fuel for dodgy verse.