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FORGET FEELING

By c j, www.PoetryPoem.com/heartunes    Unlock all Features - Upgrade to Poetry Prime

I don't deal
I feel
The feelings are suppose to STOP!
I drop
Into depression
Only want to write confession
About the bad
The life I had
That was raped from me
I just want the free
Of heaven
With years yet to go
Or I'm told so
Another quarter century
Do I have it in me?
All black and white
All fear and pain
All frustration and anxiety
Will it take the life of me
Do you feel empathy
Or only intellect
Do you give a heck
If I leave
Will you grieve?
You're so young
You're so smart
I'm no fun
I'm still haunted
By money problems
By disability
By what was
And what could be
Do you even understand
I am all woman
Not a man
Although I've played out roles
Of father, mother, lover
God's the only other
Who always cares
Always shares
The golden rule
So glad that I'm his fool
On this stage I rage the rage
Of poetry
It sets the emotion free
Will you be sad
If I die someday?
I'm crying tonight
Why oh why
Is it right
I miss my dogs
I write the blogs
Their brown eyes look
Through the glass door
And I miss them more
Than anything
My King and Queen
Only animals
That understand
Dogs and God are my plan
I'm going to another place
Where I don't have to face
The lonely
Being the one and only
That can save myself
Up there God's wealth
Or so I'm told
As body rolled
Into the ground
Depression only lets me down
So for now take those darn pills
Fight the feeling
Cure the ills
That come
When you are a feeling scum
Like white lard
It's hard
To digest
But you still take it
I guess
Excuse me
For being me
I want some empathy
For feeling too much
For being out of touch
For worrying about dying
I that's why tonight
I'm crying
Buck up
Pull up those boot straps
Keep trying
Rather be lying
In those Teddy bear blankets
That surround me
Somehow found me
Fur surround thee
As I sleep
To dream deep
Of the sex I'm missing
Of the men in dreams I'm kissing
As my mind still works
When the sleep lurks
For my aching back
For the anxiety attack
For the fussing
At me I'm cussing
As it's hard to change
This messed up brain
That's been slightly deranged
Since 1999
When Superwoman
Hit the slime
Of a broken body
Now it's shoddy
Dead is dead
Dear God just let me die
In bed
Because sometimes I just
Cannot fake it
However take it
Time after time
Diffuse with rhyme
The awful thoughts
Crying lots
Is now going away
I bet tonight I'll live
To see another day
As God is true
He lead me to you
Beat my mind
Control my will
Not doing fine
Alive still
Death will come soon
Enough!
Come on you
Kick-ass poet
You know you're tough
Go on shine
Go on smile
Forget feeling for awhile.


2/25/2015 2340 cj







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