To say that my father's alcoholism did not bother me would be a lie.
I had written Womb of the Same Mother much about my abused Mom. She
died as a abused woman and young at fiftyfour. I thought about putting
something in the book about the Monster. Any poem lost in bitterness.
Afterall the last I had seen of him I held a shotgun that misfired.
So the only mention this if things had been different. I had not seen
him for years. Eldest son I was needed to sign away the Estate. I said,
"I didn't want him alive want nothing he left behinds. The girl said,
"You're dads dying wish was for you to forgive him." I wrote this if
things had been different
HOMECOMING
I came home feeling good
To tell you the news
The years of abuse
I have given up the booze
I looked around tried the door
No sign of me you didn't want me any more
The nameplate was not the same
On the door was a different name
The key still fits
Have you given up my name?
I looked around walked inside
In the shadows fear I did hide
Everything I left was in the same place
Except the picture of me no longer in it's place
All signs of me have disappeared without a trace
Peaked in, the kids are so much older
I peaked in our room you were not alone
It was only then I realized how long I'd been away
All the times I thought of you
Only to drink from night to day
Suddenly I felt the urge
Needed a drink more than before
Took a glass poured the booze
Then in a panic poured it on the floor
I was wide awake for the first time sober
Realized I had been dreaming all the time
Woke the drunks next to me
Borrowed from each their very last dime
I am on a Greyhound bus
One more bend of the road and I am home
Tried to call but no one would answer the phone
I have made these promises many time before
My love I am not drinking any more
The family told me my own father had given up drinking
Wanted so badly to see us but was afraid of me.
After MOm died in pain of his beatings it was reality