A Spoken Word For a Special Someone By aldo kraas, www.PoetryPoem.com/poet11586 Unlock all Features - Upgrade to Poetry Prime
Sometimes I used to imagine the ocean,
Imagine it overflowing, swallowing me,
Swallowing the world,
Swallowing the past and that ever pressingfuture.
Maybe it was because the blue would've been better than the black,
Or that all I wanted was to be washed clean.
Have another chance to dream.
Another life where my enemy wasn't sleep
Or maybe all I wanted was to see
Something,
Anything,
Raise the world up off my shoulders because I was tired of being on my knees.
In the end my imagination became a ghost,
A post-apocalyptic image of myself I couldn't let go of.
The sum total of my pain finallymanifesting in some twisted reflection that I accepted as if it were my own complexion.
Another stupid lie I'd later add to my overfilled box of mistakes that kept me company at night,
Became my companion in life,
Another lie.
Realization was the initial step in my recovery,
Admitting regret in the companion I had chosen,
I should've chosen you..
The first mistake I placed in that box I filled in 3 years time were the words I choked on when I left you.
The words I'd go back to force out even if it meant clawing away my throat to lay them bare at your feet.
But the fact remains that I ran for the sake of some false attempt to keep from hurting you further.
I've often thought back on that decision over the years.
When all I knew was agony I could only think about never allowing you to see me crawling along the ground.
Soon after I prayed you'd uncover the secrets I kept from you and I'd be found out.
I later would beg to the ghost of my imagination to form some over glorified dream that you'd comesave me.
Now I think back, even as this disease pumps concrete through my limbs.
Pushes me to my knees with the very weight of the world,
Distorting every outlook to grim
Digging this hole whose clutch I desperately fight against,
Even after every muscle has tensed beyond its limits.
I think back,
And all I wish is that this disease had locked my arms around your waist to prevent me from ever letting go.
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