SWEETSWORDS

sweetswords/ aminamina

sweetswords/ Aminamina
.
My name Amin Ali,
I am twenty five years old sylheti bengali.
I live in east borhat,moulvibazar,sylhet, Bangladesh.
In the land of pir, shadu and darvesh.
So to speak of weird eerie and the strange,
I am your man from nameless nowhere of the ruhani range.
I have seen Frankenstein in the Arabian nights,
And Sri Ganesh in Indian day,
I have seen beautiful gardens housing the butterfly to turn the
fresh into the decay.
I know blood thirst kapalik who stole the Krisna Kant's will,
I have seen Batman , Superman , Constantine , Swamp Thing,
And Greenman Gupta ibn Chlorophyll.
So when I reflect on my life,
With uncanny and fear how struggle and strife.
I was born in family of land owners, who tilled theirs own land
by them selves also by theirs rayoth.
Land owner and rayoth the tannents  are like masters and
servants in our social siyasath.
So when I write this as like he man Arjun who became hijra.
So I am an impotent imbecile in whore house to serve
malechauvinist pigs doing the hijra mujra.
Every woman was silly cow to including even my own mother.
Only theirs boobs came to my view even for those who call me
theirs brother.
But only my grandma a woman equals ten men,
My grandma even as bird,
For golden egg she is the hen.
She knows me more than anyone,
It is like I am her shadow and she is my sun.
Where ever what ever I am doing even in her absence,
Those unseen unheard she know from dark and silence.
I feel I am always under her caring eyes protecting me from
every evil.
My lowly opinion of woman in general never stopped head to
take the fall.
For those blessed feets,
My grandma is the person where honor of humanity meets.
My grandfather died before I was born,
Yet in darkest wintery days his memory brings her the spring season.
Only men she loved more than me,
Why she loved him even more than her self,
No alphabet is created to write name of a man she loved more than him from Ya to Aleph.
But when I was twenty five years old,
In my nights of silver and days of gold.
We lived by monu river,
And on other side we had relatives who lived there.
In one rainy day grandma said to go to see our cousin on other side,
River was full by monsoon rain flooding the banks and became very wide.
This small canal what now looks like a sea,
Everyone forbade but I said I will take on other side by my dingy.
I make the crossing everyday I know the rive you all know that,
I am the expert boatman in borhat.
Everyone agree to what I say,
And relieved to I will go with her to her companion on the way.
Everything was okay and easy,
Suddenly lightning stuck and I felt very light and dizzy.
And fell unconscious,
And when I woke up I saw I was in a room by oil lamp  made dimly luminous.
I saw I was laying on bed among strange people,
Everyone was wearing olden days clothing , jewellery, and eye kaajal.
And there was very handsome young man among them.
Sitting on a chair by the oil lem.
I was slowly trying to understand the situation.
Suddenly I was as electrified by shock and suspension.
With utter horror I felt my breast
What magical trail is this,
What kind of sorcerycal test.
My tits are grown so big,
Very fearfully I took my hand under the blanket to my bellow,
And realized someone has cured of being the malecheuvinist pig.
With horror I realized my penis was replaced by pussy,
By some jinnathi jokers jig.
Only jinn can do this kind of horror,
I thought my self in the house of terror.
Slowly as time passed I came to know I am still living in borhat,
I was found by Mr Abdur Rahim by river bank near monumukh ghat.
He found me on fifth of july nineteen twenty,
And as much as I could depend on my sanity.
I was with my grandma in my dingy on ffth of july nineteen eighty five.
Sixty five years has passed I die by drowning yet I survive.
To Mr Abdur Rahim I told I do not remember my past,
Only this my name Amina Bibi and only in Allah I place my trust.
I do remember my grandfather's name was Abdur Rahim and grandma's name was Amina.
I got married to Mr Abdur Rahim with ten acre of land and two thousand taka mohorana.          
I looked no more than thirteen or fourteen years of age or maybe fifteen,
I was beautiful in my early teen.
I gave birth to three sons and four daughters,
And after forty years later.
My youngest son fathered a son whom I named Amin Ali.
And now I know how grand me knew me truly.
How she used to know about me even when she was not there.
No I know as grandma when I hear heartbeat of Amin Ali from near and far.
Grandma knew what I was doing because she done it before,
As Amin Ali everything I do she knows and even more.
Now as Amina Bibi I am awaiting for fifth July nineteen eighty five.
To ride with Amin Ali to die and to survive,
Awaiting for Amin Ali's magical boat,
So twenty five years old Amin Ali can drown,
So fifteen years old Amina Bibi can float.
Now I Amina Bibi eighty years old or only sixty five.
As in the year nineteen twenty I got married aged fifteen,
Written on my nikhanama by the scribe.
I must live from nineteen o five to nineteen eighty five for  ninety years to be met.
And in the year nineteen eighty five I died by drowning written on my death certificate.
But my conscious memory is from nineteen twenty to nineteen eighty five.
Now sixty five or eighty years as grandma did I survive.
Now if is take twenty five years of Amin Ali and add it to Amina Bibi's eighty.
Amina Bibi lives for hundred and and five years in Aminamina duality.
I do not know I am jinn or Insan,
From nineteen sixty to nineteen eighty five I lived as the malecheuvinist pig not as man woman or as human.
I have live as a man woman and as the hijra,
But if I could have lived as the horse donkey or zebra.
I will not be the man who looks down on woman,
But now I know as the grandma and as the grandson.
This continues cycle of life gives me now very clear view,
Treat other as you want others to treat you.
Live your life as you see fit,
Your heart is your only for no else does it beat,
You call me lier creating fabrication and hoax,
Telling you strange tales of grandfathers paradox.
You are free to think what you like,
I only urge you break no heart so no one may break yours,
Urge you to live as we do as grandma and grandson,
Not by your and mine but as ours...


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