I GROW MY HAIR

Since 2009 no cutting
Of my hair
When my youngest son went in the Army
My hair will grow as long
As he is a Private
A Private First Class
A Sargent
A Warrant Officer
And beyond
Like an Indian woman
I mourn for my son
In war
I pray to God to protect him
When he goes to other countries
Where he sees things
He has never seen before
Where those men think leaving feces
In the shower stalls is okay
There where sand storms
Take the view away
When there are no roads to
Get to a forward operating base
And the fear of IED's
Blowing up your supply vehicle
Is imminent
And worrisome
But there can be no worry
When on alert
To defend the American way
Against those who
Throw acid in their women's faces
Because of a lie
Without proof of adultery
Is a woman anything in these countries?
She is the one who births the men who fight
Whether American or other
I often wonder if women
Took testosterone to the degree as men have running
In their bloodstream
If we would be as ruthless as they can be
Moreover I think about men
Taking estrogen
To calm their breed
I think of this
On a person's 18th birthday
I think it should be done
For a week or a day
Women put on the testosterone gel
Men take the estrogen
Then maybe
Just maybe
We would know how each other feels inside
Maybe the wars would stop
Perhaps men would no longer rape
Disrespect and leave women for being
The weaker sex
Then maybe women would understand
Man's strength and will to fight
I know this is not going to happen
It is just a fantasy
As me thinking
Women and men should be allowed to be sterilized
At 18 if they know they don't want children
Life does not allow any of us that privilege
To chose for ourselves our reproductive rights
Until my son leaves the Army
I will not cut my hair
If he dies in battle
I will cut off my braid
To leave with him in the cold ground
There in death
He will remember me
When he was a baby
Grasping my hair in his little hands
Pulling it out
Not letting go
Holding on to a part of his mom
Because that's what babies do
Not men
Like an Indian woman
I will not cut my hair
As long as my son is a brave
It is my flag flying for him
Whether he and his think it's
Stupid or not
Today my hair is 31 inches long
Half way to 5 feet
How long will it grow
In the future
Long enough
Long enough
Long enough
To pull his spirit
Back to the baby
He once was to me
Because mom's remember
Their babies more
Than the men they become.

2/20/2016 2334PST cj

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