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What the heck is wrong with me
Crying like a fool
Over things I cannot control
God, come and take my soul
Out of this place
Where I have no friends
I just want my life to end
Yes, I push people away
Yes, maybe a test to see if they stay
With this poem writing witch
Kill me
Throw me in a ditch
Let the coyotes
Eat my flesh
Then I'll be good enough for someone
Belly full when they are done
Take me, God
Take me away
What is my purpose here today
To clean up this frightful yard
It's hard work that is plain hard
The antidepressants aren't working well
If I kill myself
I'm bound for hell
And I just want to go above
Where I might find a Father's love
That I missed as a girl
God help this bawl-baby world
Take this soul pain apart
God you'll always have my heart
As you are all love and grace
Make these tears quit down my face
I cannot take it
I have to fake it
That life's okay
Because I have faith
I'll find a way
Back into the beauty of Earth
I'm still alive
So must be worth
More than I am right now
God, I pray just stop
The pain somehow.

4/17/2016 2108PST cj

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