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What a great day
Until my dogs
Took off from my son's house
Spent 3 hours looking for them
Thank God someone found them
With my phone number on them
And finally called me
How they got from Southwest Fifth
In P-Town to the Y above the North Hill
In less than an hour
I'll never know
They were headed back to Helix maybe
Glad they are micro-chipped
As I thought they were stolen at first
I did what I could to find them
Thanks, Karen, at the police station for helping me
You were nice
I appreciate that
I do what I have to do
Just like I became a nurse 30 years ago
To support my kids by myself
Just like another son went in the Army for his family
It's just too bad he gives up on his blood relatives
For his married ones
It's so sad
He rarely calls his brother
He rarely calls his adopted brother
He rarely calls his mom
His head is so far up the backside
Of his new family that he doesn't have time
For his old family
It makes me sick
When I feel sick
I'm going to get my feelings out in poetry
If someone doesn't like a poem
Here's a big hint
Don't go searching through poetry
To use something against me
I wrote months before you find it
Written because I never heard from any of you
For two damn years
It's like you're looking for the bad stuff
To gripe at me and say you're done with me
You've been done with me since the whole Army trip
I heard you got moved to Seattle to be closer to help me
Since I couldn't take it in Oklahoma with y'all
Without a doctor, no antidepressants, with possible breast cancer
After I found out the second day I get there
My Michael died that I was going to come back home to
The third day I get there
I find out about the breast cancer
I went through mammograms every six months for two years
Because of that possible breast cancer
I went through surgery for my total shoulder replacement
Without you
At your house
You were mean to me
If I closed the microwave too loud
You yelled at me
If I closed a door too loud
You yelled at me
If I attempted to give the dog some love
You were mad at me
You only wanted me in Oklahoma
To be a so-called slave
You wouldn't even take me to a hospital
When I was sick as a dog with a sinus infection
But that's to be expected
As you wouldn't take your baby to a doctor either
I guess if you're not a nurse
Doctors just are not that important in your life
It's too bad
I love doctors
And they love me
They could depend on me
They would wake up in the night
After I rattled off what I needed orders for
To save a life
And just say sure
Because of my experience
What experience do you young ones have?
Sometimes I dream the Army is over for y'all
And you're just an average Pendleton kid
Like you used to be
Making it from paycheck to paycheck
As most of the stiffs your age are here
The main thing I want you to remember is
You can go to hell for disrespecting your parents
It's one of the TEN COMMANDMENTS
And it sure as hell ain't turned around
That I'm suppose to bow down to your snot-nose-brat attitude
I realize you do what you have to do
Well so do I
I have to write poetry
It doesn't mean you have to read it
How often do I get a good comment from you
About a nice poem
I don't
It's just whatever you can find to use against me
Until I'm bawling my eyes out for losing another grown kid
In my life
Well life today was pretty good
Brett Rohde's from Echo is going to take me for a ride next week
On a wheat sprayer that costs a half a million new
Other farmers were happy I am filming them to make
A little farm video of God's Good Green Earth
Now Spring has come
I got to see 6 of my 12 grandkids today
I love to hear them call me grandma
I love all of them
It's too bad I don't even get a chance to love your kids
Like my cigarettes, this old house, my dogs drooling
Or what the hell ever are going to corrupt their little minds
I grew up under a cloud of cigarette smoke
And still managed to breathe good enough
To do track, water ballet, and basketball in school
Even in my mid-forties I rode my bike 20 miles a day
And 40 miles a day on weekends
Sometimes y'all make me feel like Jesus
Nailed to a cross to die because I don't fit your
Ideal of a mom
Well, if that's the case
I'll be going to heaven not hell
Unlike y'all for not honoring your mother
If you don't call me for another two years
Oh friggin' well
I guess I will just have to get over it
At least I'm here where I still have two sons
Who love me
If you don't
No I didn't have a decent husband in life to help me
No I didn't have parents in life to help me
No I don't have you in life to help me
I hope you didn't lie to get moved to Seattle
That you needed to be there for me
Because you aren't for me
You are hateful to me
You wouldn't even drive my fifth wheel and truck here for me
(Saying the insurance on my driver's license
Wasn't good enough
I could have called to make sure it was good enough
Or made it so)
But thank God I had a nephew and nephew in law to help me
They think you're a loser for not helping your mother
I think you're a loser for not even spending 15 damn minutes
Of your Christmas vacation to cut some wood for me
When I was freezing to death
I didn't beat you as a kid
I didn't sexually abuse you
You got to live in the same town all your life
I raised you by myself without child support
No one gave me anything
That's why I get so upset with you now
It's too bad empathy doesn't come in a can
I'd mail you some
If I could find your address
You do what you have to do
I'll do what I have to do
Maybe your kids will treat
You like you treat me
When they get older
Then you will see what real hurt is like
Until then
As Blake Shelton says
"If you got a problem with that
You can kiss my country ass!".

4/2/2016 0159PST cj

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