Yes Dear, It is Jesus birthday we celebrate not
Holidays, Department stores, though Santa Clause is real!
I know because of the mess he left last year Petticoat Dictator blamed it on me, as usual!
I forgot to leave him a more accurate GPS
We actually use our fireplace in the Winter
The all inclusive rest rooms for rodents next door Reindeer took down some of my shingles
Woke the neighbors dogs and they barked all night
Neighbors the ones on Halloween turn off their lights
Leave them on for free presents from Santa Clause
And yes, Rudolph's nose was fading red
I am leaving him Led's lights with the cookies
Donner Jr, Nixon and Trump the new rookies
The Petticoat Dictator does not like messes
The Clintons once again making fake confessions
She blames me for everything
I figure Santa's nose was also red
He either had a cold or was the one
Who drank all my leftover Rum and Coke
And when he came down the chimney
Soot was all over the house
He must have sneezed scared the cat
Because something had to knock down the tree
Santa gave me the losing Ugly Christmas sweater?
The kids give me pajama bottoms every year.
It took me hours vacuuming up all the cookie crumbs
And now as soon as its warmer
I have to wash down the roof
I think it was Donner or Nixon or Trump
Who messed up our roof with their dump
We can't blame everything on Hillary or Obama
Wishing all you believers a Merry Christmas
And those just Holiday shoppers a Happy New Years
And the rest of you lets hope they
don't fix that elevator going down soon
Because there are some very angry Marines
Waiting to show you the way down
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