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 A New Woman

My purpose is confusing 
First it was school 
Then school again 
Then it was juggling 
Studying, relationship and family 
Then it was Juggling, social and family 
Then dealing with the end of my relationship 
The purpose there after was my family 
Then it was the long term battle with weight 
Then my purpose was dealing with my assault 
Dealing with my diagnosis one after another 
Coping with the ones i already had 
Then my purpose was lost in a cloud 
Then i fought for the youth 
I fought for the community 
Losing a piece from within myself 
Hated on for no reason 
Only reasons they made up in their heads 
I only knew this purpose would come to me 
Someday i knew i wasn't worthless 
I knew that i hadn't lost hope 
I had to get strong 
Its so hard when you battle 
Depression, anxiety, keratoconus
ibs, pcos, epilepsy, migraine, addictive personality 
sensitivity, pms and frustration, blindess, insomnia and fatigue
I win them all eventually 
I may cry if i have to cry  
I wake up refreshed 
Ready to fight  like there is no end to this fight 
My purpose is my faith and my nephew 
His Autism is a sweet spark in me 
I love how he recognises me as a human 
Not an activist or just a poet 
He recognises something else in me 
Is it love, how he screams excidedly to see me walk through the door 
How he shouts my name and jumps up and down 
How he tugs at my clothes so i bend down to kiss him 
Our games and how i help him speak sweet words of life and thy lords creations
How he names everyone aunty is funny 
Mummy is aunty mummy 
I am khala hiqma 
Come to khala hiqma and how he runs up for his cuddles makes me 
Feel so glad he is my purpose in life 
I will always make him happy 
I will always write books for autistic children 
I will always give love back to the world
Maybe he will grow up and my purpose may be different 

I always had poetry 
I always had to perform 
This purpose is a dream 
It is still challenging to go Mainstream
I am gettng there xx 

One day at a time xx







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