My purpose is confusing
First it was school
Then school again
Then it was juggling
Studying, relationship and family
Then it was Juggling, social and family
Then dealing with the end of my relationship
The purpose there after was my family
Then it was the long term battle with weight
Then my purpose was dealing with my assault
Dealing with my diagnosis one after another
Coping with the ones i already had
Then my purpose was lost in a cloud
Then i fought for the youth
I fought for the community
Losing a piece from within myself
Hated on for no reason
Only reasons they made up in their heads
I only knew this purpose would come to me
Someday i knew i wasn't worthless
I knew that i hadn't lost hope
I had to get strong
Its so hard when you battle
Depression, anxiety, keratoconus
ibs, pcos, epilepsy, migraine, addictive personality
sensitivity, pms and frustration, blindess, insomnia and fatigue
I win them all eventually
I may cry if i have to cry
I wake up refreshed
Ready to fight like there is no end to this fight
My purpose is my faith and my nephew
His Autism is a sweet spark in me
I love how he recognises me as a human
Not an activist or just a poet
He recognises something else in me
Is it love, how he screams excidedly to see me walk through the door
How he shouts my name and jumps up and down
How he tugs at my clothes so i bend down to kiss him
Our games and how i help him speak sweet words of life and thy lords creations
How he names everyone aunty is funny
Mummy is aunty mummy
I am khala hiqma
Come to khala hiqma and how he runs up for his cuddles makes me
Feel so glad he is my purpose in life
I will always make him happy
I will always write books for autistic children
I will always give love back to the world
Maybe he will grow up and my purpose may be different
I always had poetry
I always had to perform
This purpose is a dream
It is still challenging to go Mainstream
I am gettng there xx