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 A New Woman

written at 21 years old 


I used to think
We were everything in a blink
I ate all the lies
I ate the truth nor did I realise
I was puking reality
Too blind to notice within thee
What was good for me
Took one beating after the next
Watching my inner childs’ doom
Hiding in the bathroom
Watching my alter ego crying
My muscles aching from trying
Feeling my heart drowning in the sea
My mind racing trying to change me
I was in flames
Waiting to escape the games
It took a lot for me to leave
Thought I had it all up my sleeve
I wore my heart on
Everything lost and gone
No longer could be found
I hit the cold hard ground
I knew it was time to say goodbye
No more crying or time passing by
No more missing you going away
No more trash talk I had to hear you say
Hakoomati
Habeebatee
Sweetie
OH baby
I grew thick skin
No more cornea gone thin
The blur was a  rigid pin
No more kiss upon lie and sin
I was lying to myself
No longer keeping it on a shelf
I escaped the abuse
No more excuse
I deserve better
Tell yourself you need more than a letter
That says I’m sorry
No more is comeback girl me
I am strong
I know I won’t let you guilt me wrong
I am strong
I can walk away
Nothing you can say
I know I deserve the change
Happiness is all the range
I need
I pulled the roots who cares about the seed
Its gone now and it won’t grow back
I went to pack
The rest
I deserve the best
I deserve to be loved and told I am beautiful
I deserve wonderful
Not abuse and taunts
Not fake love and muscle man flaunts
No more womanising
What you need to be realising
Taken for granted now gone away
The grass green and short
Not hard to escape as I had thought
I can see the snakes
For goodness sakes
Why didn’t I  leave before
I hit the cold hard floor 








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