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He watched her walk back from the lake,
The way the water was running off her skin,
While reflecting the sunlight,
Was almost like a music video.
Her slow walk and summer sparkle,
Seemed to fade everyone else,
Into a blurry back round.
He loved her more now,
Than 2-years ago,
When they started dating.
She sat in a folding chair,
With a bunch of her girlfriends,
A towel draped over her for warmth.
Just those long thin dancer like legs,
Sticking out from underneath it.
She reached over and grabbed a cigarette,
Off a small table and lite it.
Why she started smoking,
He didn’t know,
It was the one thing he hated about her.
She looked over at him and smiled,
Gave him a little nod,
As she blew out the smoke,
From her first drag.
She could feel him watching her,
As she and her friends walked back from the lake,
Even after 2-years together,
He was still so insecure.
Even now,
Can’t I just smoke my cigarette in peace?
Without that disapproving glare.
She looks towards the openness of the lake,
As she finishes her cigarette,
Thinking about their 2-years together,
She still loves him,
He walks over and sits next to her,
Putting his hand on her knee,
And giving it a light squeeze,
Trying to show he isn’t bothered,
By the cigarette,
Though they both know that he is.
She just felt so distant lately,
What changed?
She saw him coming over,
Smiling at her,
The way you smile at a baby,
That just pooped its diapers,
Upset about something,
You have no control over.
She recoiled from his touch on her knee,
Can’t he just give her a little space?
Some time alone with her friends,
And a cigarette,
If she so chooses.
Her friend Sally walks over to them,
Looking at them both,
While giving them a half smile,
She remarks,
“You two always look so happy together”,
“Always touching and talking”.
They both turned to each other,
And smiled lovingly.
Sally gives them a queer look back,
As she walks off towards the lake.
His hand slides off her knee,
He pauses,
Unsure what to do.
I just want to love her,
He’s thinking,
As he goes to the ice chest,
And grabs a beer.
Feeling alone in a crowd of friends,
He pounds down his beer.
I just want out,
She whispers to herself,
Feeling trapped and smothered,
On a wide open shore,
She lights another cigarette.
Both staring at the same lake,
Needing different out comes,
To solve the same problem.
He couldn’t live,
If he lost her,
She won’t begin to live,
Till she leaves him.
Neither one strong enough,
To admit the truth,
Or weak enough,
To give up the lie.
Both are quite now,
The sound of the lake water,
Lapping at the shore,
Faintly fills the air.
Unable to see,
What Sally could see,
It was never going to be,
Like yesterday,
Ever again…
     Tom Allen…02-05-2017