In my own mind I was close
Close is relative to the thinker
and in my youth a stinker!
Mom taught me the Ten Commandments
Tried to test each one
Failed each test!
Not to commit adultery
Covet thy neighbors wife?
She was old an ugly
Mom said say something nice
Now her daughter in the second grade
I thought her quite pretty
"Punky I hate you!"
That is somewhat a turn off
Scratch that one off the list
I learned about sex in the second grade
I was a boy not a girl
Girls were pure evil
Pretty girls were the worst
Some pretty ugly girls were pretty inside
Now some people never figure it out
In the mid teens I mellowed a bit
Had already lost one tooth
Girls were not worth fighting for
The pretty girl who hated me
She left holding his bloody nose
How do you figure?
Now that I am old and grey
The Commandments are easy to obey
You wait at Heavens gate
For Jesus to take away all your sins
I figure I have to wait longer than most
That's why I try to stall each day getting there
Each morning is a brand new beginning
Lucky for old timers I can forget what I did yesterday
Can't get in that much trouble anyway
But it is kinda nice I get to meet new people
"You say we been married 55 years?"
But I often ask why I am being punished
For what I did in my youth
NO NO no I love this woman
I know her name it is Dear! Yes Dear!
I mean the day I lost all my marbles to this guy
He's the loser he took my old girlfriend
I ended up with a $700 Dental bill
I won the fight he got the girl and my marbles
He looked more manly with the broken nose
She later had all my marbles and his house
See proof that girls are Evil even pretty ones