melissaahowells

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The Petty Player Who Rarely Sleeps

I'd Like A Taste (The Wolf Said)

The Crow Is A Black Bird

When I Start to Bloom

I'd Like To Be Your Shirt (when you wake up in the morning)



All Beings Considered

Words Between Edward And Jane

Nothing's Sadder Than A Rose

The Great Tsunami Of Our Growing Grief written 3/2.2021--retitled 3/14/2021

After Wide Sargasso Sea ( For Those of You Readers Who Have Empathy For the First Mrs. Rochester.)

WAITING ON THE WORLD (March/February 2021 poetry)

Wild and Unraveling

What Must Be

These Hands Exist July 4 2023 rei-edited 7/12/2023

I Am The Color Of Black

The Tide of Your Lies (2019-2023)

How I Wanted Your Pearls 6/24/2023 WRITTEN DIRECTLY TO THE PAGE

Love Wants What Love Wants re-edited 5/31/023

Winter's Been Too Long.... 4/18/2023 (LONGING)

The Dreaming Life ( A Series Of Dream Vignettes)

Like A Small Street Dog Lured In By The Promise Of Meat

This Is What Mermaids Dream Of

At Night, As I Dream of Vampires Who Have No Bad Intentions

And You Will Be Called Ashes As You Leave ( from a dream)

Certainly No Bread 3/16/2022

Someone Send Out A Search Party

THE FAN , AT NIGHT, GIVES GOOD ADVICE completely re-edited, an entirely different poem

What Is The Price For Your Touch? re-editied 5/31/2023

Where Is My Bed With The Pleasing Tree -Lined View(NOW REEDITED)

Oh What Fine Physics (Before Me ,Lies) re-edtited @4/17/2023

If Prejudice Were Dumb And Could Not Speak

THE COMPANY THAT WE KEEP WITH THE ONE WITHIN

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For The Loss Of A Ghost Like You


gone
almost
thirty-five years

you were the very first
though I thought
you'd be my last
how my young naivete informed my heart
back then

love can be a delicate pastry
that crumbles sometimes
how we had a rich custard-y love
adventurous and tasting of the always new
I was a delirious girl in a meadow of ponies
you gave me every reason to trust in you

until you made other plans
ones you chose not to share with me
you were planning your destiny
and thinking I would ride along

on the morning you left
to become someone you wouldn't be
our sandcastle love fell away into the sea
and with it the tide pulled me in
the sky literally blackened
with rain

my parents were divorcing
my siblings had moved away
my mother had a break-down
still you left me  alone
I never knew what alone-ness was
until the night I called
after an attempted attack on me...
you were out with someone else on a date
and didn't return until morning

you never knew that I knew
about your exploits
or the coincidental bad time
of the attack
I wish I could have those moments back

people change
when you least expect them to
when you need them to be the same
life seems to be so inconvenient
or have the timing of a fool

I wonder
was she enough for you
was she enough of a challenge
did you like the long chase
or being kept

why did you two do together
all the things we used to do
the things that made us, us
just us two

eventually I wronged you too
my actions were my embittered answer
to the question of a misplaced trust
the one I once placed in you

its only recently
the old trust came limping back to me
battered and bruised
why did I do this to myself
for you

so much of my time wasted
all for the pleasing of people
and begun in the past
for the loss of a ghost like you

I think of you sometimes
a fleeting thought
but one that feels cold
like a rough wind tugging at my hair

years later
you said you didn't want me to contact you
you proclaimed you didn't care
you always thought you had the cards
called the shots

this is the message
I'm sending out to the universe

you lost me
you're the ghost
in this worn out plot

(Yes, I know
ghosts haunt.)



legal copyright for this poem/work July 25th, 2017
4:21pm PST
and also for this author/writer Melissa A Howells
and also for this legally copyrighted site title
Meloo Straight From Her Tilt-a-World

revised July 27 2017 9:49am pst





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