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 A Promise

I can't think of a time I have hurt so much
and for something that has no cure.
Once it hits there is no return down I go
spiraling stricken by sorrows pressure.

Most of my days are filled with coming and
going, I have to make it that way otherwise
as I know too well, I wont leave my home
and there you'll find me having cried all day.

I stop to asked myself will it ever not hurt? 
No one knows and really, no one cares
Besides it's something  difficult to share.
It seems it will always be too much to bare.
Leave me here with out her for the rest of
my life.  To live without her laughter and 
sparkling eyes. Her encouragement and 
without fail always be at each other's side.
I stand up and brush the tears off my face
and sigh.  I muster up enough to open my
door and step outside. Everything around
me reminds of her, why did she have to die?

I am sure there are those that judge me for
letting any kind of service  ride. No one to
pay their respects or write me a helpful
check. No, sorry I'm unable to say goodbye.

So for as long as I live she'll be with me,
cremated resting in a pretty box all the while
my heart bleeds. It goes back to a promise if
you please. Something meant whole heartily

It will be upon my own death, we will be
scattered among the Ferns and Redwood
Trees where I saw her take her very first
breath, a part of us will rest. What remains.... 

           will go where we loved to be...

       Both together sprinkled into the sea.

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