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     “The Very Moment”
 
He wishes
he could go
back
to that day
that everything
changed
with her
what had happened
that took him
over the edge
and left him
free falling
in a bottomless
sky
of emotion,
he understood
love
or so he
thought
those special
feelings
that just don’t
come and go
with the tide
but are branded
on to your heart
to forever be
remembered,
he always liked
her
found her
packaging
irresistible
and saw her
as cutting edge
cool
but he use to
be able to
function
around her
thoughts of her
would fill his
mind
whenever he
saw her
but would fade
when he was
apart from her
and by the
time
he got home
he would be
free from any
thoughts of
her
in less it was
one of those
days
she was just
over the top
sexy
he believed in
love
at first sight
but he had know
her
for years,
but on that
day
all his feelings
for her
changed
what was once
manageable
was now
unbearable
at times,
he remembers
the exact day
he heard that
audible click
in his head
as his heart
took control
of all his
feelings
leaving him
dangling
from it’s
strings
a helpless puppet
of love,
he hits the
past history button
of his mind
and replays
that day
for the 1,000th
time
he remembers
watching her
as she was
walking towards
him
taking in the
crisp lines
of her outfit
the soft curves
of her form,
was it the
clothes she
was wearing
they fit her
in his eyes
perfectly
but he had
seen her
in different sets
of clothes
before
that couldn’t have
been it,
as she reaches
him
she has so much
energy
flowing out of
her
an electric surge
his heart is
feeding off of
but still
the switch hadn’t
clicked yet,
he analyzes
the conversation
that they had
fast paced
and one sided
as she dominated
the words being
spoken
telling of a
misdeed
done to her
he was completely
energized
and excited
by the end
of her tale
and though he
was immensely
engulfed
in the verbal
ride
she had given
him
his heart
was still his
own,
but as she
turned
and started walking
that was when
his whole world
just froze
each step she
took
was in super-slow
motion
he watched her
for what felt
like an hour
everything about
her
was multiplied
ten-fold
and then
at 11-feet away
he called out
her name
and stepped into
the most surreal
moment
of his life
as she turned
giving him a
smile
and a nod
to proceed
with his
comment
which he did
with a
“I just had to”
“Tell you”
“You look beautiful”
something over
the years
he had never
come close to
telling her
before,
“Well, thanks”
she replies
before continuing
on her way
and as she
spun back around
he realizes now
that was when
she flipped
the switch
and his heart
was no longer
his own
it all seems
so clear now
how could
such a monumental
moment
have been so
hard to isolate.
He now knew
the very moment
of conception
of his love
for her
but still he didn’t
understand why,
what had he seen
what did she do
what changed,
why was he
no longer able to
look at her
with just a
casual glance,
every time he
saw her
he was in awe
of her
it was as if
that day
she walked up
to him
was for the
very first time
in his life
new
fresh
with the kind
of impact
you get
with love
at first sight
but why,
he couldn’t think
anymore
his head
filled with
so many questions
but no thoughts
as to where
to look
for the answers
he felt
mentally crippled
he was
struck down
by a question
that to him
had no apparent
answer,
he guessed it
didn’t really matter
but he was able
to walk away
from this exercise
in the logistics
of falling in
love
with a couple of
answers,
it took him
a few days
of trying to
understand
all the emotions
he had on
his day
of reflection
he was hanging
out
with a friend
that had been
carrying around
a troubled look
all day long
when his lost
looking friend
turned to him
and just blurted
out
“Have you ever”
“Been in love”
he looked at
his friend
and smiled
and after a
brief pause
he answered
him,
“Yes”
“Yes I have”
“And I can tell you”
“Where”
“With who”
“And when”
“Down to the”
“Exact second”
“It happened”
“Just don’t ask”
“Me why”
and as his friend
pondered his reply
everything in the
room
seemed to fade
away
as his eyes
glossed over
and his mind
stopped everything
it was working on
and dropped him
back in to
that surreal
moment
where he called
out her name
and fell into
love
at the turn
of her head
and ever since
that moment
he has never
been able
to see her
the same
way
again…
 
     Tom Allen…10-07-2017…