John's poems of...LIFE - LIVING &LOVE...JDJ
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I ---DONT ---think, ---that--- I ---WILL,--- really, ---ever, ---ever, ---be ---good ---enough ---even ---for-----MYSELF
ever since ---1983-----in-----MARCH,--- when --as---a---MARINE--returning-- from --and--eight--month---deployment---in--war--torn------Beruit- Lebannon----I, -was----devastated--and----BETRAYED,--- and -I --LOST, --my ---SELF--WORTH--, and --Genuine--person--and--WEALTH
So, I'm a massive, complicated, and not at all simple work in --PROGRESS
as, I'm always trying to convince myself, that I really have---WORTH---and that I am so much more and not so much. LESS
I don't think, I can even describe these feelings of ------B-E-T-R-A-Y-A-L----- and low --SELF-WORTH-- not even in word poem or--INK
its like I can be positive upbeat and okay, then suddenly low with hurt reject and devastation, as, in quick sand I, to the BOTTOM--and--just, shrivel, up, sulk and--SINK
So, just even how could I ever --REALIZE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
how to any other person thatt I could ever be--GOOD--ENOUGH--when I feel not good enough and so much lower, than low for so very long in my own--EYES
But --------look --------I-M-P-R-O-V-E-M-E-N-T, --------is --------coming --------leaps --------and ----------B-O-U-N-D-S
im -at ---231.8--pounds ---and fighting to hold strong, and at my lowest and very worst of my worst of my lowest and worst I was--in--MARCH--2005------four-hundred--and--four--pounds-----waiting--to--explode--unhealthy--hard-to-breathe-walk-and-move-and-stand--massively---diabetic-high-blood-pressure--high-cholesteral--GOUT--PAIN---OVERWEIGHT--and--humpy-dumpy--World--record--the--biggest--loser--AROUND
So, LOVE just never, never, never, can come to FIND ME
not until I'm --GOOD--ENOUGH--FOR--ME--as--R-E-A-L-I-T-Y
The time line in my--heart, and, MIND
is at least another year of my mission, quest, and goals, to myself worth and respect---at, my very, very, very, best of my BEST--at---------175----------in, my greatest, shape--be proud GRIZZ, and MARINE--all, good, motivated, GREAT--and--FINE
One DAY, when my greatness I do, and I will ACHIEVE, I will reach out to others with this same terrible self worth hate
and help them breath by breath, get in, mental, spiritual, and PHYSICAL, great-great-great-- shape--and--achieve their--Self--worth--and--almighty--GREATNESS----and--LOVE-FATE
By John d JUNGERS
24 th of OCTOBER 2017
ever since ---1983-----in-----MARCH,--- when --as---a---MARINE--returning-- from --and--eight--month---deployment---in--war--torn------Beruit- Lebannon----I, -was----devastated--and----BETRAYED,--- and -I --LOST, --my ---SELF--WORTH--, and --Genuine--person--and--WEALTH
So, I'm a massive, complicated, and not at all simple work in --PROGRESS
as, I'm always trying to convince myself, that I really have---WORTH---and that I am so much more and not so much. LESS
I don't think, I can even describe these feelings of ------B-E-T-R-A-Y-A-L----- and low --SELF-WORTH-- not even in word poem or--INK
its like I can be positive upbeat and okay, then suddenly low with hurt reject and devastation, as, in quick sand I, to the BOTTOM--and--just, shrivel, up, sulk and--SINK
So, just even how could I ever --REALIZE--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
how to any other person thatt I could ever be--GOOD--ENOUGH--when I feel not good enough and so much lower, than low for so very long in my own--EYES
But --------look --------I-M-P-R-O-V-E-M-E-N-T, --------is --------coming --------leaps --------and ----------B-O-U-N-D-S
im -at ---231.8--pounds ---and fighting to hold strong, and at my lowest and very worst of my worst of my lowest and worst I was--in--MARCH--2005------four-hundred--and--four--pounds-----waiting--to--explode--unhealthy--hard-to-breathe-walk-and-move-and-stand--massively---diabetic-high-blood-pressure--high-cholesteral--GOUT--PAIN---OVERWEIGHT--and--humpy-dumpy--World--record--the--biggest--loser--AROUND
So, LOVE just never, never, never, can come to FIND ME
not until I'm --GOOD--ENOUGH--FOR--ME--as--R-E-A-L-I-T-Y
The time line in my--heart, and, MIND
is at least another year of my mission, quest, and goals, to myself worth and respect---at, my very, very, very, best of my BEST--at---------175----------in, my greatest, shape--be proud GRIZZ, and MARINE--all, good, motivated, GREAT--and--FINE
One DAY, when my greatness I do, and I will ACHIEVE, I will reach out to others with this same terrible self worth hate
and help them breath by breath, get in, mental, spiritual, and PHYSICAL, great-great-great-- shape--and--achieve their--Self--worth--and--almighty--GREATNESS----and--LOVE-FATE
By John d JUNGERS
24 th of OCTOBER 2017
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I DON`T think
I DON`T think