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     “The Cycle”
 
He was dying
inside
the peaks
and valleys
of his heart
were tearing
him apart
he was on
the verge of
madness
as she would
playfully dangle
him
over that edge
and then with
a few
personal words
she would
gently pull
him back
and then
when she
allows her hand
to lightly touch
his
as they exchange
some papers
he starts to
soar
his heart is
at full throttle
the rush
from this casual
contact
of skin
is beyond
description
his body is
just dumping
serotonin
and dopamine
into his system
he is high
as a kite
from this
ever so slight
bodily encounter
unaware
of the boyish
grin
on his face
as he floats
away
from her
he was still
feeding off
all that releasing
energy
when he saw
them together
it struck him
hard
like somebody
jammed a stick
into the spokes
of his heart
causing him to
slam face first
into a wall of
jealousy
that feeling of
ecstasy
is sucked out
of his being
replaced
with the crude
pain
of his fantasy
being torn
in half
while
accompanied
by the earsplitting
sound
of his heart
being dragged
across a chalkboard
it’s shrill shrieks
cutting through
his emontional
soul,
his mind stutters
as it tries
to find the
right words
to calm him
down
but it can’t
the visual cut
is much too
deep
for mere words,
she had said
once
he’s no big deal
just a friend
but he can see
the truth
though he tries
to pretend
he can’t
but he does
her body
angled towards
his
in a way
almost screaming
I’m with him
her deep leans
forward
as she speaks
and the friendly
touching
why couldn’t
he
have stayed on
the closing shift
she was
so much closer
to him then
that should be
him
getting her
attention
her words
her deep leans
forward,
he has to
leave the room
too much
of a coward
to just
stand there
and take it
like a real
man
he feels drained
a hollow shell
void of all
emotion
as he staggers
away
embarrassed
by his lack
of command
over his heart,
the high
she gave him
was so incredibly
pure
he would give
anything
just to feel
the touch
of her hand
again
or be able to
look into her
eyes
as she spoke
words
only meant for
him,
but the lows
ate into his
very soul
destroying
every good
feeling
inside him
in till all
that remained
was a Zombie
of a man
the next morning
her,
unaware
of her part
in his ascension
to glory
and then how
she caused
his crashing
fall
from it,
him
ashamed at
the strong
uncontrollable
feelings
he has for
her,
afraid
to face her
but more afraid
not to,
but then
she speaks
to him
his blood
starts rushing
to his heart
and as she
turns her
eyes,
those deeply
colored vivid
eyes
of hers
to meet
his
he can feel
the cycle
beginning
to start
all over again,
and theirs
not
a Damn thing
he can do
about it…
 
     Tom Allen…10-26-2017…