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“I Hate Myself”
I still love
her,
today
I really hate
myself
I hate
that I have to
force myself
to admit it
not being able
to say
I still love
her
it just
wasn’t going to
work out,
but I can’t
on the days
I do say it
out loud
in the presents
of no one
but myself
those are bad
days
days when I
can’t hide my
feelings behind
some type of
rock or cover
so I can lie
to my face
in the dark
and pretend
that I really
don’t care,
I hate myself
for still loving
her
for not learning
from the pain
to keep thinking
the meaning
of her words
“I don’t love you”
might some how
change
if I don’t think
about them
for a long while
I hate myself
for wanting to
believe that
for not being
able to accept
the truth
and move on,
but I still love
her
I wish
with all my
heart
that I didn’t
but I do
and I hate
myself for that…
Tom Allen…11-21-2017…
I still love
her,
today
I really hate
myself
I hate
that I have to
force myself
to admit it
not being able
to say
I still love
her
it just
wasn’t going to
work out,
but I can’t
on the days
I do say it
out loud
in the presents
of no one
but myself
those are bad
days
days when I
can’t hide my
feelings behind
some type of
rock or cover
so I can lie
to my face
in the dark
and pretend
that I really
don’t care,
I hate myself
for still loving
her
for not learning
from the pain
to keep thinking
the meaning
of her words
“I don’t love you”
might some how
change
if I don’t think
about them
for a long while
I hate myself
for wanting to
believe that
for not being
able to accept
the truth
and move on,
but I still love
her
I wish
with all my
heart
that I didn’t
but I do
and I hate
myself for that…
Tom Allen…11-21-2017…