Welcome to My Poetry Site

17,194 poems read

     “Tired of Hurting”
 
 
She was so
tired of hurting
she doesn’t sleep
rarely eats
and is stuck
in a continual
loop
of just surviving
the day,
she called in sick
again
just so she
can lay in
bed
with a cat
she doesn’t even
like
but at least
it listens to
her
she curls up
on her side
pulls the large
comforter
over her head
wishing sleep
would just take
hold
of her thoughts
and let her
painlessly escape
the early part
of the day
giving her
that much less
time
to have to
find ways to
waste away
before she can
just go to bed
again
not that she’ll
sleep
but the dark
helps to hide
the reasons for
the pain,
the reasons
three weeks
it seems like
a life time ago
has it been
three weeks?
She throws the
comforter off
sleep isn’t coming
to her rescue
this morning
she’ll have to
stand before
the morning sun
and confess
what she has
buried deep inside
her heart,
she pours a cup
of yesterday’s
coffee
or was it from
the day before
the heating plate
on the coffee maker
has done its
job
the coffee is
hot
but at the
cost
of any sort of
taste
other than a
strong bitterness
which she has
grown accustom too,
her cat is
watching her from
the other room
as he stretches out
across her bed
wondering if she
was going to
come back to
bed
for the third
time
this morning,
she tries to
draw strength
from the warmth
and caffeine
in the coffee
her stomach
just feels sick
she can’t remember
the last time
she ate
even then
it couldn’t have
been
more than a
handful
of whatever it
was
she tried to
push down
she smiles silently
at the thought
of the weight
she has lost
over this last
three weeks
it’s only been
three weeks now
right?
She sits down
on a love seat
pulls a handmade
shawl
around her
not so much
for warmth
more for a
feeling of
security,
everything had
changed
so quickly for
her
she just didn’t
understand why,
she gets up
from her chair
drains the rest
of the coffee
from the carafe
into her cup
thinks about
making a new
pot
but just flips
off
the machine
instead
her cat
still tracking her
from the other
room
gives her a
grin
as he watches
her
change her mind
right before
sitting down
and go back to
the kitchen
and put on
a fresh pot
of coffee
if it’s not
coffee
she thinks
its going to be
screwdrivers
and she has
gone down that
road
way too many
times already
over the last
three weeks
or has it been
four weeks,
she opens the
refrigerator
searching for a
splash of milk
trying to soften
the bite
of the coffee
but as she
looks in
the only thing
looking back
are a bunch of
rarely used
condiments
she makes her
way
back to her
chair
milkless
and with the
shawl still wrapped
around her
shoulders
she sits with
her knees pulled
up
to her chest
cup of coffee
balanced on top
of them
as she mindlessly
gazes into her
backyard
till her eyes
catch a squirrel
climbing up a
fence post
and then jumping
towards a hanging
birdfeeder
it barely misses
then it climbs up
the fence post
again
this time it
inches to the
very edge
of the fence
post
she holds her
breath
as the squirrel
crouches down
and then jumps
towards the
birdfeeder
as it flies
through the
air
she can feel
herself stretching
as the squirrel
stretches out
it’s little claws
only able to
brush against
the slippery plastic
tray
holding the seeds
but unable to
hang on
it does knock
down one
black oil
sunflower seed
to the ground
a small reward
for all its efforts
she puts her
coffee
on the window
ledge
and then opens
her sliding glass
door
and starts to
walk outside
wearing only
her
oversized tee-shirt
she sleeps in,
her bare feet
leave the warm
wood paneled
flooring
and carefully
step on to the
patio
she gets a
slight shock
as her bare
feet
step on to the
dew covered
grass
she can see
the little squirrel
watching her
from a top
the fence post
preparing for it’s
next big jump
as she puts
both her hands
on the iron
arm
holding the
birdfeeder
she looks the
squirrel
right in the
eyes
as she bends
the iron arm
three inches
farther away
from the fence
post
she walks over
to the sliding
glass door
her wet bare
feet
leaving foot
prints
across the cement
patio
and watches the
squirrel
it tilts its head
looks at her
then at the
birdfeeder
then back at
her
before inching up
to the very
edge
of the fence
post
it crouches down
getting ready to
jump
then stops
and backs up
into the far
corner of the
fence post
and takes a
running start
towards the
edge
and makes a
perfectly timed
jump
right off the
edge
of the fence
post
again
completely stretching
out
as it flies
through the air
but again
missing the target
this time
by more than
two inches
she looks down
at the squirrel
and in a
nonchalant
voice says
“Get use to”
“Disappointments”
“In life”
and with that
walks back inside
closes the sliding
glass door
retakes her seat
wraps the shawl
tightly
back around her
shoulders
and picks up
her cup of
coffee
as she watches
the little squirrel
make the same
jump
two more times
before giving up
and walking away
both hungry
and with a real
low self-esteem,
she thinks to
herself
that’s the most
fun
I’ve had
in the last three
weeks
or has it been
four,
as she reaches
down
and softly wipes
the blades of
wet grass
off the soles
of her bare
feet…
 
     Tom Allen…11-26-2017…