ramblings and things

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Bake Off Off  

WThe Great British Bake Off,  televised cooking competition over 9 weeks on a knockout basis.  You can see the strain arising week by week.

It's the Great British Bake Off
And I've got to week six
But I think it's all over since
They've  dissed my bread mix.
They said it was rubbish
When I baked my plum duff
And Mary said my cake
Was sandy, coarse and rough.

There's a slinky little blonde
Who's giving Paul the eye
And I think it must be working
Cos she's more than getting by.
Her bagels were quite dodgy
Her bottom soggy and wet
Yet he said they delicious
Definitely teacher's pet

They're going to push me out
Deep down this I know
But I'll take the b's with me
If and when I go
 I've planned my revenge
With my Kamikaze pudding dish
With TNT and dynamite
And petrol just a splish.

I've made my own shrapnel
With glass and tacks and nails
To ensure there's a back up
If  my pudding mixture fails,
So, when they tell me that
It's time that I went
I'll push the detonator
And blow up the bloody tent.

There'll be weeping and wailing
And lots and lots of tears
But that's one Bake off episode
They'll not forget for years.
I'm  the Kamikaze chef
Divine Wind of the Aga Range
Apres Moi le deluge
After me things will change

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Bake Off Off